Saturday, November 29, 2008

I love Oberstaufen

too too TOO much to say about 4 wonderful days in a favorite place!
but I need to say this, the photos below, starting with "us" begin on Saturday, and end on Thursday "looking out our bedroom window"-a little backwards, but at least I got pictures!
enjoy!

us

more family two

more family

family two

family one

our thanksgiving table, at the Mediterrano, Oberstaufen Germany

thanksgiving with child three

thanksgiving with child two

thanksgiving with child one

night...from our bedroom

bad hair...but...us

part two of the view

part one of the view

proof

the Patton pose

and he's done

taking off

getting ready

the Preston

our sledding hill RIGHT outside our room

Broken ankle Doodle...SLEDDING

close up

Ben Ten snowboarding...and...crashing

the Doodle

us

Thanksgiving smiles from Mr. Ben

an almost family photo...Preston was in the gym, we went into town

looking out our bedroom window

umarmen und lieben
Happy Thanksgiving
essie

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

still tootin'

Doodle Bug comes home today, with the paperwork for this:

"Junior Leadership Seminar (JLS) is a DoDDS-E sponsored 6-day event for 7th and 8th grade students. The vision of JLS is to prepare and develop positive leaders to become effective decision makers and visionaries in a global society. This activity identifies and develops leadership skills in students that allow them to return to their schools and implement a service project at the school. The goal is to prepare our future leaders of tomorrow.

Each year over 100 students throughout Europe, who exhibit leadership skills, are selected by their schools to attend the Junior Leadership Seminar."

She was nominated by an 8th grade teacher!!
She's in 7th grade!!!
And...naturally...
SHE
DOESN'T
WANT
TO
DO
IT
yup...she says she doesn't want to go away for a week...
to a resort in Germany-
where she is empowered to make the world
our world
HER world
a better place.

oh my stars this child will be the life and death of me!
so so SO proud of her, I am-
completely stymied, by her reluctance
completely awed, by her goodness
completely humbled, by, her

did I mention that I love my daughter?
she is everything that I was too afraid to be
the possibilities for her are open and endless

umarmen und lieben Dolls
Momma

Saturday, November 22, 2008

quickly

the snow came down down down last night...
I needed it.

Work for Team Leader has taken a turn that has just pissed me off.
I can say that because this is my blog.
BUT
that's all I can say.
We'll get over it, because we are US.
Me and Him.
Always US.

and it snowed...
a sign from above perhaps,
when I needed one?
my sign?
can't hardly be a coincidence-I get it Dulce.
I'll get over it, because I love Team Leader, and I KNOW I don't have to love his office. (Lucky Me!!)

Oreo LOVED the snow and on his walk this morning I took pictures, which I'll post later on-he WAS too funny!

Last night I found this blogger, through an expat blooger I've gotten to know, and like her I had to share her words.
You must read this post about love.
It is the raw, true story of how love changes life and transcends death.

Love.
I love my husband-fiercely-so much so-so very much, so
I love snow, love love love it when it snows
I love.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

is that a bat signal?

a bat signal of say 30+ something?!!

birthday wishes are going out to
ROBIN!

with hugs and love,
from deutschland,

batman

yay for you Doodle Bug!!

super-de-duper week continued...

yesterday I was admin for my 3 administrators who were all at a district wide conference. I love our office staff-could not ask for a better, nicer, all around wonderful group of folks to "steer our ship" through each school day.

my littles were wonderful for the sub, which always makes for a better day, although I'm now more than 100% convinced that there is a whole lotta crazy in some of my parents.
seriously.
some of these parents need to decide WHICH battles to pick and WHY.
It's a long long road to high school, and, picking fights with the office and teachers in FIRST GRADE...you've got to be kidding!

today, Biggers went to school, hoping to repair the 61% he had in one class with the (now) completed work in hand that his History teacher had assigned, um, wait for it,

2
weeks
ago.

I'll post photos of him when he isn't in the doghouse.
Rest assured, he IS alive, barely!

Doodle Bug was in a MUCH better place, as today was all about the doodle...
now I know this might be too much, but her father and I never got accolades like this for academics in school -sports, yes- and we did think we were pretty well rounded.
For us (essie and Team Leader)
For the time (late 70's and early 80's)
But Doodle...
Doodle is
100% balanced
school, sports, friends,
100%.
She gets it, always has, and after today, we know she always will:
*Principal's Award for 4.0 GPA
*Creative Thinking Award from the GT teacher
*Student of the Quarter from the 7th grade team (teachers)
*Captain of the Volleyball Team

THAT is how to start the school year!

Benzilla was there, who has just gotten into the math book he has worked SO very hard to finally begin, and his comment for the morning:
"Dollie has really worked hard, hasn't she Momma?"
totally making his being there even more special...

So, now that I've basically compared our sons to our daughter, understand that I do
really do
LOVE THEM ALL but this is my blog afterall, and,
today was all about shining Dollie's halo!
HOWEVER, before I sign off for today, one photo of the smallest Harrison, after a day at the groomer, notice please his blue and white striped SCARF!!!

enjoy!

umarmen und lieben all!

With Ms. El Sayed the prinicpal

Our Girl!

Ruthie (our extra!) in yellow, laughing and hiding from me
Dominique (on the other side of the cafeteria...I know, I need to take a picture taking class!)
Julia

julie, lori and e, this is for you:
4.0 GPA, athlete, tall (whoa tall, taller than TL in fact), sweet, nice, kind, and all we could want for in the first boy...I still can't wrap myself around THAT part of parenting, but I trust her and I have to say, that I like him.

Monday, November 17, 2008

and so the week JUST keeps getting better

I go to school and see my littles...
it's as if I've never left:
"Mrs. H-so and so hit me..."
"Mrs. H so and so was running down the hall..."
"Mrs. H I'm going away until after Christmas and Mommy says it's your job to make sure I have all my work before tomorrow."

that little nugget coming from the child in my class who
IS NOT PASSING first grade.
yup.
failing first grade.
thanks in great part to her mother, who,
never sends her child to school
has NO structure in her house,
thinks it's acceptable for little girls to THROW the 'tude at adults like NO ONE's business,
("I'll stare atchu any way I want because my Mommy says I can...")

nice
monday
morning

Later...one of my little boylies decides to pretend
(thank G-d for small miracles here)
to pee into his peach tea bottle during snack.
seriously.
he did.
and when I wrote it up and sent the discipline referal to my boss...
I inadvertantly wrote TEAM LEADER's name in the blank (they are both Anthony...a simple mistake made by a woman on meds-that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!)

my boss laughed and told me he thought I was messing with him when I sent the email.

nice
monday
afternoon

wait...still not done yet...

heard over the intercom at school:
"Mrs. H, you have a phone call in the office."
twice.
this is NEVER a good thing...

I run to the phone, call the office and hear our secretary yelling:
"E-call the middle school-it's your daughter!"
my cell phone rings.
It's Nurse Julie...from the middle school.
(Really, we ALL do call her Nurse Julie-she is one of the sweetest school nurses I've ever known-you would call her Nurse Julie too!)

"Mrs. H...I think Dollie broke her ankle today in gym."

umm.
WHAT?

And so it went...
from a morning
to an afternoon
to a night (it was 8pm when we got home, with only a splint, b/c orthopedics needs a call from the "Sponsor" (Team Leader) in the morning to set up an appointment)
of totally MONDAY-itis.

crap-o-la
crap-o-la
crap-o-la

can ya say it with me?!!
ergh.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

how you get one ear pierced or the one where sick children should be at home being taken care of by their parents

bitter I am.

I have been at home since Wednesday...sick as a dog.
I made it to school for half a day on Thursday, but by 12 noon, I was in the car, on my way to my sick bed.

sick, sick, sick.
Our german doctor put me on antibiotics-which basically meant she thought I was dying-because overhere, antibiotics aren't the first line of resistance. It is the "cold and flu" season right now, but I know where I got this, and who I got this from.

For the record, if I say it once, I'll say it a million times...if your child isn't feeling well BEFORE school starts, they AREN'T going to miraculously feel better as the day wears on!!!
SERIOUSLY
I am so so SO tired of parents who send their kids to school sick and then get pissy with me when I call and say
"Little Suzy just threw up, come and get your kid!"
trust me, when I say, your negligent attitude regarding parenting is only going to make me look at you twice, AND, with s scary hairy eyeball.

ergh.
sick I am.

On to the story of the single ear pierce, which goes something like this:
the birthday gift was pierced ears from Preston's buddy.
the two of them...getting pierced ears
when the boys got there they were surprised to find that the money Kevin had
for both sets of ears
would only cover the cost of
one ear
per
boy.
yup...that's right
one ear each.
In the end, that's what they did, one ear each.

We have told the boys that we will take them back to get the unpierced ears, pierced.
and...
for the record...
for my friend e...
I did have a thermonuclear meltdown when the birthday gift for the Doodle was pierced ears. She was 7 then...
and I wasn't sure she'd be able to keep on top of it...
and I was a spazz.
(e, that was for you!)

time to go take my meds for the day and get ready for school tomorrow-
umarmen und lieben
essie

Thursday, November 13, 2008

gooooo Doodle!!

waiting for me in my inbox today was a different email from the middle school...

I opened it.

this is what I read:


Dear “Student of the Quarter” Parent,

Congratulations! Dollie has been chosen by her team teachers as an outstanding example of what an ideal student should be. Peers of your child will recognize this honor as placing your child in a special category of Heidelberg Middle School students—those who not only consistently put forth their best efforts, but also strive to be good citizens.


Could she be simply the best?!
absolutely!!

Halloween...2 weeks later



still catching up...

Ben was WWE wrestler Jeff Hardy...complete with dyed red hair!

Dollie and her girls made us SO proud by going out as Gangstas...nice.

the biggest news of the night...
yes.
that IS Preston's ear.
Kevin got Preston's ear pierced...notice I say EAR rather than EARS.
Kevin got one earring and Preston...he got the other

catching up

e got all over me and said I needed to post some photos...like yesterday.

home sick...I find the time to actually get them up.
enjoy!

field trip to the german farm across the autobahn with Mr. Ben


learning about "kurbis" (pumpkins!) all those boxes behind the farmer...chock FULL of onions, potatoes, and/or pumpkins!!

tomatoes!

believe it or not...15,000 individual lettuce plants, waiting to be harvested!





the farm has it's own restaurant on site, we got to have a wonderful lunch, complete with loads of entertainment courtesy of Ben and his Boys!





umarmen und lieben
essie

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

the sound of the glass ceiling...breaking

I went to bed last night anxious, and, hopeful.
Not a good combination for a worry-wart like me.
I couldn't take the waiting.
and waiting.
and waiting.
It was killing me.
So I went to bed.

I woke up this morning at 5:25...6 hours ahead of the east coast.
Roughly 15 minutes before President-Elect Obama made his magnificent victory speech.
A magnificent victory speech delivered in the same park where, 40 years ago at the Democratic Convention, riots broke out.
The significance of that location wasn't lost on me-or anyone in my family for that matter-my father said that was the beginning of the unbearable bipartisan divide that our country has been held hostage by in the years since.

My family.
Who I called, immediately afterwards, to share in the amazing moment happening before us.

It was a morning for us that we took in
minute by minute,
word by word.

I got to school and saw my colleagues
smiling
laughing
celebrating!

And then the children came flooding down the first grade hallway.
The joyful sound of small people-
"Obama"
"He won"
"Obama is"
"the first"
"Black President!"

"He looks like me."

He looks like me!
I thought my heart was going to explode-
all the promise-
all the wonder-
all the potential-
all in the beautiful little faces,
the culturally diverse spectrum of our future.
So small, yet so vital...

All day I was brought back to my own familial happiness-thrilled for my own children-thrilled beyond my wildest dreams
our son who will vote in his first presidential election in 2012,
our daughter who already has political plans of her own,
our youngest son who believes that all world citizens...people...all should be free.

With the splinters of glass on the floor around us, tonight I know that with hard work and a belief that anything IS possible, anything can happen.
anything.

I hope that in this administration, these beautiful visions of our future can find
inspiration,
joy,
motivation,
hope,
all these things and more.
"Guten Morgen Mister President! Machten Sie die Welt Besser!"
(the headline on one of our German newspapers:
"Good Morning Mr. President, You make the world better!" )

umarmen und lieben
essie

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

we did it

the country has spoken-

we did it!

Here she is...




Miss Ellie Belle!

Last year she was the cutest little cheerleader an Aunt could ask for...this year, our girl is rockin' the Pirate look!

Happiest Birthday wishes to our number one niece!
Ellie Paige

We hope you got your birthday box, and the presents were fun-more gummie candies are on the way! We love you SO much honey, and know that this year will be a fantastic one for you!!!

xoxoxox
Aunt Essie, Uncle Tony, Pres, Dollie, and Ben

Get out

and VOTE!!!
No matter what you do today,
DO NOT miss this opportunity.

You owe it to your chldren.

Go VOTE

Monday, October 27, 2008

ps

happy birthday to

*e*

yay you!!!
xoxox
me

Sunday, October 26, 2008

just a thought

"Your life is an occassion.
Rise to it."
~Mr. Magorium

umarmen und lieben
essie

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

change

today i mailed my absentee ballot back home to virginia.
i sent it, express mail...
i smiled afterward, as it crossed my mind, that in a funny way it was one last campaign contribution i was proud to make.

before the big mailing i let any, one, h'son kinder who wanted to watch-watch-as i placed my vote
respecting privacy is important...
the parenting and civic teachable moment, even more so and in the end,
one did.

she's an amazing child-i've known that always-forever and ever in fact.

"mom...that vote just might be the one vote that changes the world."

honey-for you, and all the children of the world, i truly hope it is.

umarmen und lieben, zeiskeite!
momma

Thursday, October 09, 2008

fifteen is MY life















he's up there in that thing the germans call an amusement ride...
(it had 4 bars of seats, making a square, riders sat so they could see the terror on one another's faces...or the faces of their PARENTS who were safely on the ground.)

















and here, he's swinging DOWN, (I am not in the photo because I am having a heart attack and Team Leader, Doodle Bug and Benzilla are calming me down with wine...a big big glass of wine.)















holy mess.
someone get me my drink.
my big, tall drink...I love that part of German amusement parks.
umarmen und lieben
essie

paradigm shift






it's time to smile.

I've been posting A LOT of esther-mind-soul stuff.
the writing really helped me get through a tremendous personal loss.
It did.

I loved blogger for that-what huge shoulders, carrying the weight of my pain for me.
Then I started getting emails, facebook comments, so many people wanting to know who this wonderful child had been?

Suddenly, it wasn't just blogger picking me up and dusting me off, it was all of you.
There were moments, laughing until the tears ran down my face-
There were celebrations, joyful moments-
There were movie marathons, hysterical moments-
There were reasons to smile...

So, I'm smiling again.
Like Miranda said to Carrie:
"You'll laugh when something is funny."
There's been puhlenty of funny lately.

It's time to start each day embracing the smile...
Ending the day thankful for the smile...

umarmen und lieben to all my smileys out there-
(loving and missing you!)
essie

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Naturally

In typical "me" fashion, my camera wont upload photos right now.

In typical "me" fashion, my camera DIED when I started to take photo of Pres, blowing our his candles. We will have to re-inact his bday event for posterity later.

Team Leader and I think he had a great birthday weekend...

Skate Park ALL day on Saturday. HOURS upon hours of skating...he has the bruises to show for it, he's trying to create some kind of skateboard trick that I can't do justice describing.

Hockenheim with his boys Saturday night...late night...3am before his head hit the pillow.

Back on post for Happy Cake, steaks on the grill, presents, cards, friends.
All for him!
Tonight, Team Leader and Hillbilly are taking Pres and the boys to a concert.
That's apparently what you do when you are 15.
That, and talk talk TALK about getting your learners permit when you go back to the states this summer.

sigh.
our boy is 15...

wow.

15

October 5, 1993 is the day.
My life stopped being my own, and new life became the center of my world...

Preston turned 15 today.
Team Leader and I keep turning to one another, arms open, needing a hug-
physical reassurance-
a touch-
our baby is 15.

I think we're both in shock.
It's hard not to be-we don't feel like time has blown by us...
but it has.

Happy Birthday sweetheart!
We love you!
Momma

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Answers

Today has been a thoughtful day.
I tried to find an outfit that wasn't black.
Today needed to be about color.
I found something-red-it worked, I guess.

Today I'm in Germany.
Tonight, while I sleep, my dearest friends in Virginia will memorialize the most amazing little girl.
I'll be here-dreaming of a place where she can be as loud and as fast as her heart can take.
Her heart...

Answers.

Dulce was a former student of mine.
I was her Kindergarten and First Grade teacher at Hunters Woods Elementary School in Reston.

Hunters Woods was a magical place.
I got really, really lucky when Steve hired me.
I felt at once, like I had found "home."
Team Leader was all over the world back then; we owned a house a NC, and the kids and I lived with my parents. I felt unbelievably displaced 99.9% of the time. I felt like I was homeless. Even with 2 potential buildings creating cover for my head-homeless.
Hunters Woods took all that away.
I WAS home when I was at work.
I had peace.
I had presence.
I was home.

Dulce was part of that peace...that presence...that home.

Answers.
Dulce was this wonderfully crazy little person who had more questions than a child could EVER possibly be allowed to ask...
She was this bright light of good, a good that all children do possess, but her light was stronger...
She would communicate in any way she possible-not an easy task given the enormity of her disabilities...
But I never saw her as disabled-ever.
She was Dulce.

Answers.
She named me "H" first.
Then I evolved into "Harry."
For a minute, we tried to do the real name "Mrs. Harrison" until we all realized that my name was "H" - I was "Harry."
She would said "Harry...COME."
I would go.
She would RUN to the swings or the slides on the playground, laughing, teasing, joking...
I would go.

Answers.
Her IEP meetings were parties-oh my stars did we laugh until our faces were wet with tears. Her parents were fabulous, and everything a Gen Ed teacher could want parents to be: suportive, kind, tough, sweet, hysterically funny with wicked senses of humor, reasonable, right.
They were right.
Right for Dulce, right for me, right for Rahn.
They gave us Dulce - 40 hours a week.
Dulce gave us the family that she was denied at birth.
She gave me herself.
She gave me her parents and brothers.
She gave me Rahn.
She gave me Eadie.

She gave me confidence-there isn't a child I'll deny-and a desperate want to know how to do more.
She was "the most inclusive person I know" (so SO true Eadie, and beautifully said)
She lived her life as if each moment were truly her last.
People say that phrase, about living life, but few actually do.
Dulce did. Man, Dulce, did.

She was 10 when she died last week.
Dulce was a former student of mine who came into my life and changed me forever.
Dulce was a former student of mine who became part of my family - part of me.

Answers.
I don't have many more.
In the end of this part of her life, it was her beautiful big heart that needed to finally rest...Her heart.
In my mind I believe that for the first time, she heard clearly the amazing grace of G-d, calling to her:
"Dulce. Come."
She did.
Who could blame her?
I can't go now, but I know oh I know, that when the light in my life calls upon me
I WILL see Dulce again.
She will be there,
laughing,
holding out her hand,
pulling me into the second leg of our Amazing Race.

Answers.
Dulce was one child in a million.
She cannot ever be replaced.
But she's at peace, and I know how important finding peace is...
even if it means leaving people you love.

Dulce Maria Wahdan
1998-2008



















umarmen und lieben Dulce-
Harry

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Letter of Her Lifetime

The tribute I'm about to post was written by a beautiful woman, whose life was changed by one little girl.
Since Dulce's passing, so many people have been worried about her, worried because they were synonomous..."Dulce-Rahn"
They went together like peanut butter and jelly
They went together like eggs and toast
They went together like cookies and milk
-some days it was more like oil and vinegar-but
They went together.

Yin to Yang.
Air to Earth
Fire to Water

Dulce-Rahn

Dulce, we've decided, knew that time was precious and short.
She had an awesome job to accomplish and limited time to get the job done.

I'm so proud of you Chris-this is a wonderful, positive, and uplifting tribute to the extrordinary relationship you shared with her.
"Job well done, Rahn, job well done."

Dulce, we miss you, but our love for you will never die.
Dulce, we miss you, but our dreams for a world where all kids learn won't be darkened.
Dulce, we miss you, but you brought us together.
You made this amazing family a reality.
You.
G-d Bless your heart, honey, your big loud running laughing heart.
I love you
Harry

*****************************************
Dear Dulce.
Seems a bit unreal that this is happening today. Only for you would I be standing up here in front of all of these people, in a dress no less. How did I know that 6 years ago you would walk, ok run, into Hunters Woods and change all of our lives forever? We weren’t quite sure what to think of you and all your glory!
They say it takes a village to raise a child and I can honestly say that is true.
It wasn’t hard to see why people were drawn to you. You had so many different sides to you, one more different than the next. We could probably go around this room and not one person could repeat that of another.
-Tenacious -Full of energy –Social -Busy –loving –gutsy and nosey could be just a few.

My favorite was that guilty look you had on your face when you were caught doing something you weren’t supposed to, and you fight to protest your innocence or try your best “wasn’t me face” on for size. Sorry, didn’t fit you too well. But mostly you were honest, sometimes to a fault when you got caught.
You made us realize why we chose our profession, why we became teachers. You weren’t an easy child. You were a challenge for us as teachers and human beings to find how to reach you and be the best DW you knew inside you could be. The journey on our way to reach that goal was never boring. I think we would be here all weekend if we tried to tell every story about Dulce. We all have many. It wasn’t a day if you didn’t hear your name being shouted down the hall or heard ”My Mom said” I want a playdate, or our favorite “Sorry!!”
The year you joined Hunters Woods, school and home became a close family. There wasn’t anything that couldn’t be honestly shared between us. Your family wanted to be challenged and to help you grow. We hoped we were up for the challenge.
You didn’t want to be treated different from your peers and were not shy about telling us that. You wanted to talk with your friends, and hang out with them in the bathroom. That made you late, but that made you feel like you belonged. You begged for us to help you learn. We didn’t know what your limits were, you didn’t want any. You didn’t know the meaning of no or I can’t, even on your toughest days.
With the blood sweat and tears (along with therapy bills) your family (home and in school) managed to take you to places that Dr’s never said you’d reach.
You would never talk? You didn’t stop. You had too much to say. Gone were the days you were content to sit and observe; you had lots of time to make up for. I remember talking to your parents and being over the moon that you were starting to talk and we were starting to understand you. Gone were the days we would just nod or say ok to whatever you said, you needed to be heard and understood.
Never write or learn to use the computer? You learned how to use the computer to write up playdate invitations much to the surprise to those around you! This also came in handy when you told us “no” or “sorry” one too many times! Get to writing my friend.
Never Read? You were in such a hurry to move past the ABC’s and picture books and in to reading books. Many doors were knocked on and celebrations had when you hit the a level. And then you demanded Mrs. Holley give you a level 8? Who knew. You did.
You blew into our lives like a tornado and hadn’t stopped running since. What we didn’t know was why you were in such a hurry. You were never really good at keeping a secret, but maybe this one was too important to share. A voice inside told you not to hold back and you took full advantage. You taught us not to hold back, that if we wanted something, we needed to go for it.
I don’t choose to dwell on this as a sad time, rather; I choose to celebrate your life and what you have meant to those all around you. I can’t even begin to tell you how you have changed me as a teacher and a person. You were with me for half of my teaching career and that is something special. Dulce, I like to tell my fellow teachers, especially new ones, that while all children are special, there will be at least one child that will epitomize life and all the challenges that it comes with. That was you. I probably didn’t tell you enough how special you were, but I think deep down you knew. Other teachers may be fortunate to develop a bond so special that it is hard to explain. This was my bond with you, whether either of us liked to admit it. You made me laugh. Cry. Pull out my hair. Amazed. Most of all PROUD. The days you walked in with your hair down, crimped or maybe gelled into a style of your creation, we knew it would be a challenge. Then again, you never took the easy way.

You and I had some adventures outside of school. We went to 5 Guys and you ate my fries, all the while insisting you didn’t want any. Our adventures at Target are still with me today. My favorite memory was when you met my nieces. Only the special people in my life meet them. You had worked hard and had asked so many times. You were so happy and excited to go. Then on the way home you weren’t afraid to point out my issues with directions. I took a wrong turn in Leesburg (we were), and I hear from the back seat, “Rahn are you lost?” Or the time you gave me the directions to your house when I was sure I knew where I was going, when I really wasn’t! But that was you. Never afraid to hold back in what you were thinking or had to say. It didn’t matter if it was in the middle of an assembly, during class, or even in the middle of Target, if you felt something was important enough to share it would be done.
The halls are a bit quieter now, but yet, they are not silent. I smile and like to think Heaven is a bit louder and more lively now. I like to think you have tossed those hearing aids aside, put on your prettiest dress and are enjoying the greatest playdate you ever had. We should all learn to put on our fancy dress and just let it all out for a time!
I told your Mom you are a legacy now. We would be here for days if everyone told a Dulce story full of your antics and thirst for life. We were honored to know you and you will never be forgotten. We are all better people for knowing you and will keep you close in our hearts and minds. Keep an eye on us and we will see you soon.
These words are my thoughts, but I would like to end with yours. Here is the Poem you wrote at the beginning of this year.

Love,
Rahn

Saturday, September 20, 2008

You.

Your question-if you can find the right words-
you can.
They are there.

I told you that I thought you needed to see them on your time-time for just you and them-before others came in and let their grief dictate your connection.
I know it was hard, but I'm so glad you did, because now you know unequivocally
how tremendous the impact of your connection to their daughter was in their eyes.

Dulce may have started her life without family, in the traditional sense-
G-d found Jerri and Hassan for her...her name, remember the story Jerri told us about her name-
Chris, there were no coincidences in her life...
G-d had a plan-an amazing plan for her life.

They came to Hunters Woods, hopeful.
There were no guarantees, just hope.
What they found was family.

Jerri and Hassan created her family-they found her family-they were guided into a community that embraced Dulce's challenges and helped them conquer what Doctors said
could
not
be
done.

Remember when we asked Jerri is we could take Dulce on the Amazing Race-we knew we'd be the winning team, hands down! We laughed and joked about the play fighting and funny bed head hairdos we'd have-it was a hysterical notion, that made us all smile.

What we didn't know then, that I understand now, is that we were already on that Race. Dulce picked us to be her teammates, and we ran with it.
We ran with her.

Her life was amazing.

She was amazing.
She was playful.
She was kind.
She was naughty and mischievous.
She was dilligent and tenacious.
She learned.
She loved.
She lived.
She lived the Amazing Race.

How lucky were we-we got to run with her-
Maybe what we take from the sadness, is joy,
we take that joyful motion of Dulce-
that forward pressing motion that filled Dulce everyday,
we take it and press on, just as she would want us to.

I've said that I believe she was a messenger.
Like those before her, she has left us here to continue sharing her voice with others.

We become the messengers that make the change we want to see in the world happen-
We make that change happen for all other children,
because we know Dulce would want us to,
because we know that Dulce would have made it happen in spite of us all-

She got you into a dress, afterall...

You can do this.
You ARE the person to do this.
You have the words, YOU HAVE THE VOICE, and if you need help I'm here.

BIG hugs Robin...send out a bat signal if you need to, but know that the bat mobile is ready!
xoxoxox Momma-
Batman

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The sweetest sorry

was the one I heard so many times a day-
"Sahwee Harry"
"Sahwee Rahn"
"Sahwee Turnie"

When my phone rang last week, I cried tears of joy, you were right there wanting lunch, chinese?
rice?
time together?
time on the phone for a day well done.

We used to call Tony that way-you would laugh and yell into the phone
"Toonneeey" and tell him everything about life in Virginia and make him tell you everything about life where he was in the world...

I hope wherever you are tonight the memories of those calls, those special special days, the fun we had together, the trouble we caused, them smile you put on the face of every person you called friend-that those moments of your life are cradling you into a loving eternal sleep.

Dulce Maria Wahdan.

We will all love you forever.
We will never, ever forget you.
Your life was a gift-
I will thank G-d every day for the rest of my life for the time I had with you.
You made me a better teacher, you made me a better person, you made me want to make the world a better place.

I miss your voice already-
I promise to take good care of Rahn...
I promise.
I love you honey, with all my heart-
Harry

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

crack is real-it is also known as

facebook.

holy mess.

this is not good...I'm LOVING finding the people who knew me when, and are still their wonderfully fabulous selves (all these years later...and with some of them, yes it's been years!) heh

BUT the flip side is me not getting out the door on time, to get to school early enough, to be ready for the student teacher who showed up today...who I had TOTALLY forgotten about in my "catch up with the world" madness.

um. yeah.

apparently I'm part of the slacker generation.

umarmen und lieben
essie
ps I love this man-he gives me goosebumps!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Remembering and Orange Birthday Wishes



I would say, that after all these years, I'm the realist in my marriage...
TL is the romantic, interestingly, not me.

When I met him, I thought he was a Forest Ranger-
seriously-
I did.

It's one of the first of a lifetime of ridiculous Esther/Tony stories that we have floating around out there.
I had
n.o.
c.l.u.e.
about what he really did for a living.
I learned fast.

This life, we live, isn't for everyone-

TL tells me I should always have hope.
(I can be Debbie Downer, I'm not proud of it, but I know my own evil.)
He's right.
There should always be a glimmer of hope.
Maybe that's why I stay in the classroom with my littles-they're too small to be jaded by politics, prices, and pundits.
The world is a small place for them; save knowing that Iraq and Afgahnistan take their parents far away, for long periods of time-hopefully, not forever.
They find joy in little people things, and, I get that. I like that.

In my classroom today, I had no idea what to expect...so...
Today we read my special book "On September 12th We Knew Everything Would Be Alright" It makes me cry when I read it aloud, but it makes me feel better.
Today we celebrated the 7th birthday of a little guy in my classroom by making him a birthday book filled chock full to the brim of "Happy Birthday Wishes." His classmates asked him what his favorite color was-
orange.
He got lots and lots of orange wishes.
Today we made our own American flags, and some of my littles, sang the national anthem as they glued down their colored strips.

It was a long day, but it was a happy day.
We were all full of hope today in my classroom-it was nice, it was good, it was right to do.

Today, the country, our country, my country-their country-remembers.
Tomorrow, we hope that the world our world, my world-their world-moves one step closer to being a better place for all mankind.

It was the best orange birthday wish that I could hope to come true-ever-
Karen and Jeremy, we remember.

umarmen und lieben
essie