Thursday, May 31, 2007

tastes like...

conversation in the car between Momma and Mr. Ben after being forced to make his favorite Subway sandwich on "the wrong bread!"

M: "So, do you want to try a bite of your sandwich?"

Mr. B: "I guess..."

insert Mr. Ben unwrapping said sandwich, and taking a bite, here!

M: "Well..."

Mr. B: "Emm, yah, this is great! I thought it was going to taste like GAS!"

*For those who don't know my vernacular, my 7 year old just told me, he was worried his sandwich would taste like ASS!!!

Yes he did!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

the important thing

hmm...
what?

is it: being able to maintain without killing your spouse as you prepare for an overseas tour of duty?

is it: being able to get the kids dressed, fed, off to school without loosing my job because we are late EVERY day while he watches MTV Classic to wake up?

is it: finding homes for kittens, kittens, kittens-EVERYWHERE?

is it: sneaking venti toffee nut lattes?

is it: making list after list of what needs to be done before the first round of movers comes on JUNE 18th?!!

is it: staring at said list and freaking because "Holy Crap-we have a ton to do?!"

is it: starting with the random part of the list because I'm secretly terrified that we won't be able to get any of it done?

is it: standing my ground when Team Leader name calls and "WHOA!" makes me mad!?!

OR

is it: getting past how mad I am, maybe talking to him today, and reflecting on all the soldiers we've lost this year-every year-since we became a country...

A few years ago, my teammate and I had Team Leader come into her Kindergarten classroom to talk to our kiddos about Memorial Day. He came in uniform and brought plenty of cammo make-up. He also forgot to take out his dummie weapons before he brought in his kit bag and a nasty parent went running to my principal. (He's not always the sharpest pencil in the box, my Team Leader, but hey his job isn't in an elementary school!) Anyhoo...He came, spoke, and covered each of the 40 Kindergartners with cammo paint. It was excellent, and, when the day was done each of those kids could share 4 points about Memorial Day!

Teachable moment success!Those same kids are in 9th grade this year. I wonder if they remember that Memorial Day lesson? With everything going on in the world today, and now as we currently live in a military community, I'm really surprised by what is considered important.

Maybe the important things for me this weekend are:

accepting that Team Leader is capable of being a HORSE'S ASS...
recognizing that I married him knowing some of these flaws were maybe a little more than flaws...
allowing for the possibility that he really has adult onset ADHD and isn't able to think before he speaks...
understanding that I'm not the first military spouse (who has spent her entire marriage pretending she wasn't) who has moved overseas at an inconvenient time...
knowing I am a spazz when pushed into a corner...

walking away from the corner, taking a deep breath, digging into this list, and, remembering to stop and appreciate everything that our servicemen and women have sacrificed for our country and will continue to sacrifice for this country. This isn't about blind support for this war, or, believing we were blindly led into a disaster of a war, this is about remembering that sometimes we loose. We loose and we have to remember WHO is doing the job WE don't want to do.

We have to thank them. We have to remember them. We have to honor them.

If you are reading this, please check my link for "anysoldier" and do something. Make Memorial Day more than a weekend of sales, or vacation, or clean-up, or even fighting with your significant other. Instead, give Memorial Day meaning again, that's the important thing.

hugs and love all,
essie

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I'd like to be, under the sea, in an Octopuses Classroom with you...

Question: Is it grammatically correct to say "octopuses?"

So today my class really floored me, oh yes they did!
As you read, please be reminded that THESE children could potentially hold the future of North Carolina in their hands...

This week is "EOG testing" week in Cumberland County. EOG (End of Grade) is NC speak for SOL (Standards of Learning), which is VA speak for

"Holy crap, it's standardized testing from hell week!"

Something near and dear to the heart of every teacher who has HAD IT and wants the year to be over NOW! What it means at my school is that our assistants get pulled to "proctor" the test and we are left TOTALLY alone with all these bonkers kiddos for the entire day, all week! It makes for what I'm doing now...drinking...yup, at 4:40 in the afternoon, Malibu and Pineapple, baby!

Tired and crabby, are we in the First Grade wing-we're all done-quitting every hour or so, because saying "I QUIT!" out loud to a sister in arms, well it helps, so it's what we do during weeks like this. Bringing me to this-our final math assessment-we've been baby-stepping our way through it this week, HUGE headache mind you, but we finished it this afternoon.

Or so the kids in my class thought...BECAUSE based on how they answered the test questions on probability, they'll ALL be repeating FIRST GRADE next year!!

(This would be a great time to remember that these kids are the future...um WHAT?!)

One of the 4 questions they incorrectly answered asked this:

" Circle the sentence that is more likely to happen:
1. An octopus will visit our classroom.
2. A chicken will lay an egg."

MY brainiacs (all but 2 actually) circled the FIRST SENTENCE!!!
OH YES THEY DID!!!

Seriously.
They did.
For real.

How many days left?!!
hugs and love!
essie

Sunday, May 13, 2007

For the record...

Because I have a friend here who has the wisdom of, oh the wisdom of many great women before her, and can verbalize so beautifully that which is hidden from plain view-

yes, this has been a hard year
yes, I have questioned SO much while living here
yes, I really can complain like a CHAMP
yes, I am a worry wart
yes, I am a self professed "school snob" who only wants the best of the best for her children

yes, I am blessed
yes, I have been blessed here in Hopeless Mills
yes, I'll leave here with memories and life long friends

No, I never expected that, for the record...

The greatest mommy





is MY Mommy!
Someday I'll fit into her fabulous hat!!

Happy Mother's Day Mom
I love you!
Gleefie

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Back on antibiotics

As predicted, I'm back on some major pharmecuticals...can't drink or eat any dairy products for a week-I've never taken anything like this before-and pouring coffee creamer, that was a little bit scary this morning!

Question: is coffee creamer actually creamer, as in dairy, or am I paranoid?

Next question for all my gal pals out there:

HOW do I explain to my beautiful daughter that pre-teen girls are shitty little bitches. That because she likes the Retro 80's look and sometimes paints her nails bright blue, she is not a "Goth..."
HOW do I explain to her that if you are hungry, YOU EAT...
HOW do I get through her dramatic but fabulous head that she is perfect in the eyes of everyone who truly knows her and that smart and pretty DO go together...
HOW do I protect her? Can I? Should I?
Specifically, how do I accomplish this without becoming a screaming banshee, anyone?

Last night my heart broke for her, and of course Team Leader is stuck on the other side of the world (with no uniform mind you) and I HATE being both, because I do REALLY need my man! ("He completes me...")

Teen age girl crap-I went through it, was pretty screwed up as a teen, hated my mom subsequently blaming her for everything wrong in my life instead of listening to her as she tried to be a mom to me...all that teen age crap, I lived it. I just don't want my daughter to-she's too sweet, she's too kind, and clearly she's way too over influenced by these little NC crazies here in Hopeless Mills.
I'm her Mom, and I want her to become the best Doodle-Bug she can be. I can't always like her friends because I see them differently.
I see the potential for lifelong and fairweather friendships. Fairweather friendships are devestating and make you question everything about yourself. She is 10. Our daughter is 10. She's learning this now, at 10. Is that fair?

She asked me last night why my friends were so happy when we were all together. I told her that we were all regular people who have regular feelings; happy, sad, angry, mad...etc...
I really didn't have a great answer for her other than at a point, you cut through the crap with your friends and you simply are happy to know them.
Bad day, glad day, it doesn't matter. You're pals.

Isn't Mother's Day meant to be about the hugs and love and not the WORK behind the job? I'm feeling like I should be fired, because all I want to do is tell these superficial girls
THEY SUCK
and to get the H**L away from my amazing kid-who they don't even deserve to know!

UGH...
*sigh*

what is a Momma meant to do? I'm beginning to agree with *e* who said that every OTHER move was a good one, and that maybe just maybe Germany can't get here soon enough.

It's that or I'm just a spazz who can't take the vulnerability out of my parenting.
Maybe it's both.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Why we hate Delta Airlines...and why I probably need an Anger Management Class!

Before you go ANY further...
YES
the following IS in someone's inbox at Delta's Corporate Headquarters.

Does this confirm my raging bitch-atude?

To Whom it May Concern;

My husband flew on your airline yesterday. His name is-----------. He was flying in civilian clothes at the request of his command because he was flying commercially. His bags containing his complete U.S. Army Special Forces uniform and many other irreplaceable Government Issue items were not at his final destination, Budapest Hungary, when he arrived.

YOUR airline is trying to blame Air France.

I BLAME YOU!

Here is how his day "Flying with Delta" went:
His original ticket number was DL5563 for a flight from Raleigh Durham to JFK
THAT flight was canceled.
He was "re-booked" Raleigh Durham to Cincinnati, flight DL5371, which arrived LATE because your re-fuel-er RAN OUT OF GAS so another agent had to complete the plane re-fueling, thereby making him MISS his connection to Budapest.
He was put on Delta flight 5304 Cincinnati to Dulles International Airport.
There he was put on Air France flight 29 IAD to Charles deGaule, with additional ticket markings DL8331.
Upon arriving in France, he was placed on Maleve Hungarian Airlines (Air France 2894) to Budapest.

Did I mention that he is an Active Duty SOLDIER, who is on an important mission, and YOU LOST HIS UNIFORM!

Instead of accepting responsibility for ANY PART of his ridiculous flying day, you continue to blame him and another airline, as if THAT will replace his lost uniform and mission supplies?!

I am shocked, that given the nature of the danger facing our service members in and out of uniform, that your business practice is so slipshod. I can't believe you can't keep a Government Employee's bags on a PLANE long enough for the service member to HAVE WHAT HE NEEDS TO DO HIS JOB. Instead, a specific uniform is out in the open where anyone could take it and use it illegally. Could you possibly have any idea how dangerous that is?! Do you even care that you may have put my husband at risk? Or risked security somehow?

I have tried calling every number on your website, naturally, you are CLOSED and the contact I've made so far is with a computer generated message. I demand that I hear from someone immediately upon receiving this email. My husband simply cannot go out and spend 100 Euros to "replace his uniform" it's United States GOVERNMENT ISSUE and HE IS IN HUNGARY!!

I can be reached at home or on my mobile
Today is Friday May 11, 2007.




ps-this is what I just got in my in box...from Delta "Customer Care"

Thank you for taking the time to get in touch with us. We appreciateevery opportunity to listen to our customers and act upon what we hear.Our response to your e-mail may take a little longer than usual due tothe high number of customers who have contacted us recently. In themeantime, thanks for your patience.
AS THIS IS AN AUTOMATICALLY GENERATED MESSAGE, PLEASE DO NOT REPLY.

Ya THINK they might have high volume customer contact since they just filed for
BANKRUPTCY!!!
OMG!
seriously.

Teacher Appreciation Week...um, I don't think so...SERIOUSLY!

So, right now my teammates are in Scholastic Book Heaven...

running around like Crack Heads...
grabbing each other to pull someone from their own little slice of happy into another little slice of happy somewhere in this incredible book warehouse!

I AM SOO JEALOUS!
and I miss them, my First Grade Family, they all rock...
Rock, rock, rock!
I hope they have a blast, find oodles and oodles of magnificent books, and find themselves the victims of a Literacy Hangover when they get back in Carter's Van!!
ILY ladies, ILY!

Me, I'm not there.
I'm in Hopeless Mills, waiting to go back to the Doctor tonight...
policing the Rotters, because last night Mr. Ben was locked out of the house by his ever-loving big sister!

(Don'tcha just LOVE those siblings relationships)

Ranting on further-
Last week I went back to work after missing a week of school after practically dying from being sick. Parents who send their ever lovin' children to school when THEY are SICK-
THEY SUCK!
And I happen to have every parent EVER who does just that...even the ones who stay at home...they send their sicko kids into school because

G-d forbid

any of these braniacs miss ONE day of school!!
ONE.
There's no policy about fever-free here, just recommendations
There's no policy about public puking here-just recommendations
There isn't a full time nurse at our school because...well I don't know, but I'm sure it has to do with money and our lack of it here in Lala Land-whoops I mean CCS.

SERIOUSLY!!

I woke up yesterday and felt like all the scary bronchial stuff was coming back.
I panicked-natch, when it doubt, that's what I do best-and started trying to get an appointment.
I'm not used to the military system. This is the first time I've not carried civilian insurance since I began teaching.

It's Crazy. And I've lived on that river "Denial" for a very very long time now.
There's a lot I really don't get, and,
WHOA NELLY
aren't we getting ready to leave the States
and live on Base
and be all that we can be?!!

Can I do that?

I don't know.
Okay focus Esther-back to Teacher Appreciation Week-
We had one, if you can call it that, LAWD knows I'm not trying to be a bitch but really
is this place for real?

I got KICKED by student for TAW
I got PUNCHED by a different student for TAW
I got SICK AGAIN by yet another student for TAW
That's what I got, for my 15th Teacher Appreciation Week, bruises and antibiotics.

Can I remind you that these children are FIRST GRADERS...
This is the future of our country folks...if we don't do something, one day we will look back and say:
"Holy Crap, George Bush was actually LITERATE compared to what we have in office now!"

Seriously.
If you have a teacher to thank, do it.
Do it for me.
I'm not a personal horn tooter, but if I didn't have those gems of teammates to get me through this year and the 19 days we have left, I'd be a sorry angry be-atch right now!
Oh yes I would!

Seriously!
Hugs and Love folks; I'm off to the doc!!
essie

ps-HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

My trailer park...

is full!

After a long day talking about all things "next year" I looked around Room 8 and thought:

"no matter what, this HAS been a great year!"

Michelle Vaughn, Carter, Watkins, Mulvey, Leah Skarie-
this is for
YOU!!

HOLY MESS!!

xoxoxox
essie