we went to see HP6 in arklow...had to take a photo on the way out
the band in a truck-TOTALLY brought back memories of trips to scotland to see my grandma and the lamas fair
Sunday, August 02, 2009
no. 238 arklow
the yoda laptop isn't letting me rotate my pictures...fingers crossed it will stop the madness soon!
we went to see HP6 in arklow...had to take a photo on the way out
the band in a truck-TOTALLY brought back memories of trips to scotland to see my grandma and the lamas fair
we went to see HP6 in arklow...had to take a photo on the way out
the band in a truck-TOTALLY brought back memories of trips to scotland to see my grandma and the lamas fair
Saturday, August 01, 2009
no. 237 arriving
sunny smiles from ireland
over the hedge
ben, in front of our home away from home in ireland
the front yard of the cottage, Corbalis Lodge, Rathdrum Co. Wicklow Ireland
ben and daddy sharing a morning cuppa
we have arrived!
over the hedge
ben, in front of our home away from home in ireland
the front yard of the cottage, Corbalis Lodge, Rathdrum Co. Wicklow Ireland
ben and daddy sharing a morning cuppa
we have arrived!
no. 235 lost in the shuffle
so... the post with other snaps from ireland...
hmmm.
i'm fixing it, but you know the yoda laptop does the first photo last.
the 3 pictures "choosing a rock"
temptation to keep scrolling!
umarmen und lieben
e
hmmm.
i'm fixing it, but you know the yoda laptop does the first photo last.
the 3 pictures "choosing a rock"
temptation to keep scrolling!
umarmen und lieben
e
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Friday, July 03, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
no. 233 out of sight
walking into the shoppette just now
a song
was playing that made me stop.
for a minute i was singing along
but my head was somewhere else
thinking of my life
as it was
in another place
and
in another time...
short version-
i know that life passes us by.
i know that while we are gone
we are
out of sight.
and i know that often
out of sight
does mean
out of mind
even to the closest of friends
even to the most important people
even to the family you thought you could never be without.
i know.
i understand.
i get the big picture.
but the big picture isn't the immediate picture
particularly for our children
who are dealing with the heavy reality of saying goodbye.
saying goodbye because it is PCS season in our world
that's the unavoidable time when soliders and their families leave for new duty posts...a Permanent Change of Station.
but really, to military kids and their friends, who know better-
nothing is permanent
and this is just a move
to a new place
far away
from the life you work so hard to create for yourself
in spite of where the military sends you.
in a perfect situation
our children would have:
lived in one community
gone to a single elementary school
experienced preteen angst and upset in one middle school
captured four years of high school
lived in one community.
but they haven't
and they won't
and for every hard goodbye
i pray for a soft hello.
it's as simple and as complicated as that.
we miss you all
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e
a song
was playing that made me stop.
for a minute i was singing along
but my head was somewhere else
thinking of my life
as it was
in another place
and
in another time...
short version-
i know that life passes us by.
i know that while we are gone
we are
out of sight.
and i know that often
out of sight
does mean
out of mind
even to the closest of friends
even to the most important people
even to the family you thought you could never be without.
i know.
i understand.
i get the big picture.
but the big picture isn't the immediate picture
particularly for our children
who are dealing with the heavy reality of saying goodbye.
saying goodbye because it is PCS season in our world
that's the unavoidable time when soliders and their families leave for new duty posts...a Permanent Change of Station.
but really, to military kids and their friends, who know better-
nothing is permanent
and this is just a move
to a new place
far away
from the life you work so hard to create for yourself
in spite of where the military sends you.
in a perfect situation
our children would have:
lived in one community
gone to a single elementary school
experienced preteen angst and upset in one middle school
captured four years of high school
lived in one community.
but they haven't
and they won't
and for every hard goodbye
i pray for a soft hello.
it's as simple and as complicated as that.
we miss you all
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
no. 231 or the one where she turns 13
that "she" is my little girl
"she" is 13 today.
i think i'm in shock-
seriously.
seriously in shock.
it can't be that 13 years and 9 months of my life with her have already passed.
it just can't be...
i remember everything about being pregnant with her...it was the worst pregnancy...
ever.
i wasn't cute or bubbly
i wasn't gracious
i was enormous
and had the morning sickness of a thousand people
she turned my body upside-down and SIDEWAYS
she messed with me that badly!
i became diabetic
i went on bed rest
i was enormous-did i mention that?!
i was impatient
i was grumpy
i was enormous
i was convinced this baby was
a girl-
our daughter to be.
my mom was the only other person who agreed...even my doctor thought it was a boy
i knew better
she was already giving me the headaches...in utero no less!
heh
just kidding
i knew better though, i did.
from the beginning i knew that she would be the
only
one.
just doodlebug
no other daughters claiming
flesh of my flesh
daughters of my heart-later, much much later
but dollie
she was born and the mold was broken-
one of a kind.
these are the years where mothers and daughters struggle
where the temptation to spread wings is dashed by the primitive need to protect
where voices carry over one another
where tears are mighty
and
where tears are few
i love her with everything that i am
i love her with everything that i have
i love her with everything
i love her.
she is my daughter
she is my gift to the world
she is the world's gift
to me.
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
on your 13th birthday and every day
Dorothy Laura Grace
xoxox
momma
"she" is 13 today.
i think i'm in shock-
seriously.
seriously in shock.
it can't be that 13 years and 9 months of my life with her have already passed.
it just can't be...
i remember everything about being pregnant with her...it was the worst pregnancy...
ever.
i wasn't cute or bubbly
i wasn't gracious
i was enormous
and had the morning sickness of a thousand people
she turned my body upside-down and SIDEWAYS
she messed with me that badly!
i became diabetic
i went on bed rest
i was enormous-did i mention that?!
i was impatient
i was grumpy
i was enormous
i was convinced this baby was
a girl-
our daughter to be.
my mom was the only other person who agreed...even my doctor thought it was a boy
i knew better
she was already giving me the headaches...in utero no less!
heh
just kidding
i knew better though, i did.
from the beginning i knew that she would be the
only
one.
just doodlebug
no other daughters claiming
flesh of my flesh
daughters of my heart-later, much much later
but dollie
she was born and the mold was broken-
one of a kind.
these are the years where mothers and daughters struggle
where the temptation to spread wings is dashed by the primitive need to protect
where voices carry over one another
where tears are mighty
and
where tears are few
i love her with everything that i am
i love her with everything that i have
i love her with everything
i love her.
she is my daughter
she is my gift to the world
she is the world's gift
to me.
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
on your 13th birthday and every day
Dorothy Laura Grace
xoxox
momma
Sunday, June 14, 2009
no. 230 more doodle love!
no pics yet-
sorry.
i know that's REALLY why my 2 loyal readers come here...for the fabbo photo ops.
again sorry.
they are coming-promise.
doodle bug love continues
as she was chosen as
MVP
for the softball tournament!!!
(her team came in 3rd overall, and considering that she didn't know you were allowed to steal bases when she played her first game EVER in April, is a pretty sweet deal!)
oh my stars!
that super duper girlie-o of ours...
she is on a roll
and she deserves the accolades!
side bar:
back to school tomorrow for the training before summer school starts.
bleech
HOW did i end up on THIS train?!
seriously...
trying VERY hard to wrap myself around the positive as i drive friends to the airport for their summer in the states.
we
are
staying
here.
no trips over for us.
*sigh*
thinking about rainbows and ponies right now
rainbows and ponies...
kisses and wishes,
hope and virtue,
umarmen und lieben
e
sorry.
i know that's REALLY why my 2 loyal readers come here...for the fabbo photo ops.
again sorry.
they are coming-promise.
doodle bug love continues
as she was chosen as
MVP
for the softball tournament!!!
(her team came in 3rd overall, and considering that she didn't know you were allowed to steal bases when she played her first game EVER in April, is a pretty sweet deal!)
oh my stars!
that super duper girlie-o of ours...
she is on a roll
and she deserves the accolades!
side bar:
back to school tomorrow for the training before summer school starts.
bleech
HOW did i end up on THIS train?!
seriously...
trying VERY hard to wrap myself around the positive as i drive friends to the airport for their summer in the states.
we
are
staying
here.
no trips over for us.
*sigh*
thinking about rainbows and ponies right now
rainbows and ponies...
kisses and wishes,
hope and virtue,
umarmen und lieben
e
Sunday, May 31, 2009
no. 229 give me a "D" give me an "O"
give me an "L"
give me another "L"
give me an "I"
give me an "E"
what's that spell?!!
we have the most wonderful daughter ever.
that's what it spells!
so my camera, my sweet little 2.0 mega pixels camera finally bit the dust...
natch, it happened when our friends were here, on their honeymoon, i was deathly ill for the SECOND time this school year, and my camera said
"no mas, mommy"
"no mas"
it meant no photos of the family all together
no photos of the lovebirds in our house
no sneak up yelling
GOTCHA!
photos
nothing...until i got the news that our girl had been selected to join the
National Junior Honor Society!
GOOOOOOOO Dollie!!
so off i went, to get a new camera, which (after being purchased and a fast tutorial thanks to Javonne)took beautiful photos of our schatzie looking seriously older than the soon to be 13 year old that she is.
(serious run-on, i know, sorry!)
directly after the induction, she went flying off to the pre-championship softball game she was in. she got there at 5pm, we were on that field until 9:30, it was crazy long, and we were all WHOA tired
BUT
her team won!
now, she-we will be up to our eyeballs this weekend in a softball championship.
fingers crossed the weather will hold, and we'll be able to perfect our farmer's tans as we watch and root...
as soon as i can figure out how to get the camera uploading photos, i promise to update :0)
before i go BIGGEST BIRTHDAY shout out to our number one nephew Jacob...who has a birthday surprise on "pre-order" set to ship out on 22 June...a month late honey bear, but full of all the love an auntie, uncle, and cousins could ever pack into a gift! we love you so very much, are so proud of you, and wish you the biggest and the best for this birthday year!!!
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e
give me another "L"
give me an "I"
give me an "E"
what's that spell?!!
we have the most wonderful daughter ever.
that's what it spells!
so my camera, my sweet little 2.0 mega pixels camera finally bit the dust...
natch, it happened when our friends were here, on their honeymoon, i was deathly ill for the SECOND time this school year, and my camera said
"no mas, mommy"
"no mas"
it meant no photos of the family all together
no photos of the lovebirds in our house
no sneak up yelling
GOTCHA!
photos
nothing...until i got the news that our girl had been selected to join the
National Junior Honor Society!
GOOOOOOOO Dollie!!
so off i went, to get a new camera, which (after being purchased and a fast tutorial thanks to Javonne)took beautiful photos of our schatzie looking seriously older than the soon to be 13 year old that she is.
(serious run-on, i know, sorry!)
directly after the induction, she went flying off to the pre-championship softball game she was in. she got there at 5pm, we were on that field until 9:30, it was crazy long, and we were all WHOA tired
BUT
her team won!
now, she-we will be up to our eyeballs this weekend in a softball championship.
fingers crossed the weather will hold, and we'll be able to perfect our farmer's tans as we watch and root...
as soon as i can figure out how to get the camera uploading photos, i promise to update :0)
before i go BIGGEST BIRTHDAY shout out to our number one nephew Jacob...who has a birthday surprise on "pre-order" set to ship out on 22 June...a month late honey bear, but full of all the love an auntie, uncle, and cousins could ever pack into a gift! we love you so very much, are so proud of you, and wish you the biggest and the best for this birthday year!!!
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e
Monday, May 25, 2009
no. 228 what a moment of silence means
in our house, well, it's loosely defined.
often by the comings and goings
of teenagers and children,
of company,
of friends,
of family,
of single soldiers stationed here-far far away from home
for whom we carve out a special place
where quiet is quite infrequent
but more often than not the noise is a welcome happy sound.
we create the clatter of this life to keep the rest of the world out.
until we can't
and then the moments disrupt our noise and silence consumes the sounds of life-
a by-line in the army paper, alerting us to the reality of
this life
and how in a moment of explosive violence
this life
is changed forever
a movie that sells out at our PX and in two hours creates a silence by taking your breath away
this life
and how so selflessly these soldiers give all
this life
is changed forever
a place where people prepare, support, and sustain loved ones by providing for the future
this life
and how never forgetting the love, honor, duty, and devotion
this life
is changed forever
WHAT do you do, in that moment of silence, WHAT?
giving thanks is so much more than the dollar you spent on that yellow ribbon magnet you've put on your car
giving thanks is so much more than the poppy you took from the VFW volunteer outside the grocery store today
it is more-more than an outward sign
it is more-more than a day off work
it is more.
my blog
my sermon
my challenge.
coming out of the silence on this post today
is yours.
stop being quiet
take your moments-
your silent moments-
and talk
to your children
to your family
to your neighbors
ABOUT
memorial day.
DO something.
don't make these moments of silence
moments that are easy to come by and easy to let go-
these moments SHOULD make you stop.
each moment signifies the exact second
that someone gave all
so that you didn't have to
and did so because
in the committment ceremony,
in their moment,
they said they would.
what does a moment of silence mean?
in memorium on this day
with respect and profound meaning for your lives
from this army family to all the others
our moment of silence begins now...
often by the comings and goings
of teenagers and children,
of company,
of friends,
of family,
of single soldiers stationed here-far far away from home
for whom we carve out a special place
where quiet is quite infrequent
but more often than not the noise is a welcome happy sound.
we create the clatter of this life to keep the rest of the world out.
until we can't
and then the moments disrupt our noise and silence consumes the sounds of life-
a by-line in the army paper, alerting us to the reality of
this life
and how in a moment of explosive violence
this life
is changed forever
a movie that sells out at our PX and in two hours creates a silence by taking your breath away
this life
and how so selflessly these soldiers give all
this life
is changed forever
a place where people prepare, support, and sustain loved ones by providing for the future
this life
and how never forgetting the love, honor, duty, and devotion
this life
is changed forever
WHAT do you do, in that moment of silence, WHAT?
giving thanks is so much more than the dollar you spent on that yellow ribbon magnet you've put on your car
giving thanks is so much more than the poppy you took from the VFW volunteer outside the grocery store today
it is more-more than an outward sign
it is more-more than a day off work
it is more.
my blog
my sermon
my challenge.
coming out of the silence on this post today
is yours.
stop being quiet
take your moments-
your silent moments-
and talk
to your children
to your family
to your neighbors
ABOUT
memorial day.
DO something.
don't make these moments of silence
moments that are easy to come by and easy to let go-
these moments SHOULD make you stop.
each moment signifies the exact second
that someone gave all
so that you didn't have to
and did so because
in the committment ceremony,
in their moment,
they said they would.
what does a moment of silence mean?
in memorium on this day
with respect and profound meaning for your lives
from this army family to all the others
our moment of silence begins now...
Saturday, May 09, 2009
no.227 to be or not to be-THAT is the question
with all love and respect to our pet, re-reading the entries from this year
i realize just how maudlin this blog has become.
there has been a LOT of upset this year-physical, emotional, academic
you name it
but anyway you do, it's upset.
so i've gotten to thinking:
do i stop?
?
do i?
do i end this chapter of life and communique'
or
do i accept what life has thrown in my direction and simply be.
hmmm
i was telling a friend last night that i thought i needed to lighten it up, that i wasn't even sharing our life here in germany anymore, that my blogging had become more of a catharthic uber sharing of me in my 40's than the original trip
the trip that took us from virginia
to carolina
all the way to germany
uber mind sharing over exciting life travels and adventure-
certainly not the direction i planned on taking when i started talking to my laptop
hmmm
there is a spargel fest in schweitzingen today...
spargel=asparagus
we live in the asparagus capital of germany
a little ditty i should have mentioned when we got here-just getting to it now.
maybe i'll walk over and take a look, take some snaps, post something light and witty.
simply be.
hmmm
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
i realize just how maudlin this blog has become.
there has been a LOT of upset this year-physical, emotional, academic
you name it
but anyway you do, it's upset.
so i've gotten to thinking:
do i stop?
?
do i?
do i end this chapter of life and communique'
or
do i accept what life has thrown in my direction and simply be.
hmmm
i was telling a friend last night that i thought i needed to lighten it up, that i wasn't even sharing our life here in germany anymore, that my blogging had become more of a catharthic uber sharing of me in my 40's than the original trip
the trip that took us from virginia
to carolina
all the way to germany
uber mind sharing over exciting life travels and adventure-
certainly not the direction i planned on taking when i started talking to my laptop
hmmm
there is a spargel fest in schweitzingen today...
spargel=asparagus
we live in the asparagus capital of germany
a little ditty i should have mentioned when we got here-just getting to it now.
maybe i'll walk over and take a look, take some snaps, post something light and witty.
simply be.
hmmm
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
Thursday, May 07, 2009
no. 226 Vahlhalla
and with the phone call from the woods
Vahlhalla opened its doors
and
the pack
was restored
rest in peace Ozzy...you were a jedi
(l. to r. Rebel 1987-2006, Ranger 1996-2006, Ozzy, Yofi 1997-2007)
Vahlhalla opened its doors
and
the pack
was restored
rest in peace Ozzy...you were a jedi
(l. to r. Rebel 1987-2006, Ranger 1996-2006, Ozzy, Yofi 1997-2007)
Saturday, May 02, 2009
no. 225 the interlude
as the titanic sank, the band kept playing
convinced the ship was invincible, ridiculously optimistic, the music continued-
until it stopped.
i have read and reread my last post-it's practically been my screen saver-it's time for me to face the music.
so, basically, mr. ben needed a break.
moving here was hardest on him, something we all knew
it's hard enough to be a grown-up making big decisions
it's harder still when you're a little guy and you don't get too much say so in the process.
the woods in virginia have been all he's known-
and all we want-
he wanted home
he needed home
so
we let him go
just for a while
to rejuvenate
to relax
to reconnect with the place and people he misses with his whole heart.
i realize a week later that my upset was perhaps my reaction to not making this piece of the world
home enough
home enough
to bridge the distance
to carry over the love
to complete the puzzle with a found missing piece
to play the music of our life with more than cautious optimisim
outside the music is loud and strong-busy and hectic
inside the music has quietened
the music is soft, low, wistful
we miss our little guy, but, with every day of this unbelievable family trip the music in his voice is vibrant and clear
no caution there
music that is playing and playing and playing
in the woods of his home
the interlude
this trip
the break in all the music
he is alright
we are alright, missing him-
missing him so
but he'll be back in june
and in the meantime
our band will play on
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e
convinced the ship was invincible, ridiculously optimistic, the music continued-
until it stopped.
i have read and reread my last post-it's practically been my screen saver-it's time for me to face the music.
so, basically, mr. ben needed a break.
moving here was hardest on him, something we all knew
it's hard enough to be a grown-up making big decisions
it's harder still when you're a little guy and you don't get too much say so in the process.
the woods in virginia have been all he's known-
and all we want-
he wanted home
he needed home
so
we let him go
just for a while
to rejuvenate
to relax
to reconnect with the place and people he misses with his whole heart.
i realize a week later that my upset was perhaps my reaction to not making this piece of the world
home enough
home enough
to bridge the distance
to carry over the love
to complete the puzzle with a found missing piece
to play the music of our life with more than cautious optimisim
outside the music is loud and strong-busy and hectic
inside the music has quietened
the music is soft, low, wistful
we miss our little guy, but, with every day of this unbelievable family trip the music in his voice is vibrant and clear
no caution there
music that is playing and playing and playing
in the woods of his home
the interlude
this trip
the break in all the music
he is alright
we are alright, missing him-
missing him so
but he'll be back in june
and in the meantime
our band will play on
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e
Monday, April 27, 2009
no. 224 heart of my heart
it's been a funny year, this one.
not as much in a ha-ha way
but in a
wow.
life is serious way.
and
you're not getting any younger way.
it's been a funny year.
on friday my little went back to the states with his gaia.
he had been writing her this year
writing her and telling her
how much he missed his home.
his home with her-
and my dad-
and my brothers-
and our dogs-
the 70 acres of life in the woods
the heart of his heart
i had NO idea.
and when i found out how sad his beautiful big heart was
part of my heart died.
it didn't even have time to break-
how could I not know.
this is something that will take me ages to understand
that i missed the signs
that i missed making this place into a home for him
that i missed hearing the beating of his little heart...
that i failed him somehow.
what it took to buy the ticket...
i was so shaken up that i literally got into a fender-bender in the parking lot after leaving the travel agents office.
what it took
to meet with his teacher and plan the outline of this family trip...
teaching him how to use the mini laptop
setting up family accounts with the many sites his teacher uses to promote her curriculum
what it took to pack the bag...
where was Boom?
the favorite jammies?
his RedSox hat?
but what it took
when the hardest moment came
because it did come...
he turned to me
after clearing the first round of passport control
he turned
gave me the biggest smile and the most optomistic "thumbs up" his heart could muster
then he turned again and was gone-
gone
as in not here
with me
with his daddy
with his big brother and sister
with his little, little dog
just not here.
he called as soon as he got to the woods
and while it was a heart wrenching call for me,
the sound of his voice
became the beating of my heart.
not dead inside
but alive
happy
restored
home.
the heart of my heart-i'll see you in june
i love you
momma
Sunday, April 12, 2009
no. 223 ughhhhh
and with that ridiculous groan...
spring break ends.
*sigh*
counting down to Friday, and our trip to Amsterdam, is that too much too soon?
hmmm
spring break ends.
*sigh*
counting down to Friday, and our trip to Amsterdam, is that too much too soon?
hmmm
Thursday, April 09, 2009
no.222 tiptoe through
the last year and sneak ever so quietly into the next year.
and now, the random thoughts of the girl at 41
as 41 has just happened over here in deutschland regardless of what blogger has to say!
i've been in a bit of a rut...
since november-actually, if i really think about it.
this makes me more than a teeny bit angry.
i enjoyed being 40
i liked saying:
"i am 40."
it was like a badge of honor to make it to 40.
life however, as we all know, just loooves throwing wrenches into even
the very best laid plans.
the moments of happy happy
get pushed into the corners of "did that really happen?"
like when i went to school 2 weeks ago, and the parent of one of my students had savagely beaten him with his own belt and then made him wear it to school as further punishment-
for being a nuisance.
it did happen, and i've run the gamut of emotions since then, back and forth like a pendulum.
what i'm figuring out is that it is sometimes quite hard to allow myself to live in the happy...even though i'm really not sad.
just perpetually pissed.
so, in a true effort to make 41 better than 40, i'm going to take this selfish moment of happy to wish myself
happy birthday
and hope ever so slightly that this year, my wish comes true.
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e
and now, the random thoughts of the girl at 41
as 41 has just happened over here in deutschland regardless of what blogger has to say!
i've been in a bit of a rut...
since november-actually, if i really think about it.
this makes me more than a teeny bit angry.
i enjoyed being 40
i liked saying:
"i am 40."
it was like a badge of honor to make it to 40.
life however, as we all know, just loooves throwing wrenches into even
the very best laid plans.
the moments of happy happy
get pushed into the corners of "did that really happen?"
like when i went to school 2 weeks ago, and the parent of one of my students had savagely beaten him with his own belt and then made him wear it to school as further punishment-
for being a nuisance.
it did happen, and i've run the gamut of emotions since then, back and forth like a pendulum.
what i'm figuring out is that it is sometimes quite hard to allow myself to live in the happy...even though i'm really not sad.
just perpetually pissed.
so, in a true effort to make 41 better than 40, i'm going to take this selfish moment of happy to wish myself
happy birthday
and hope ever so slightly that this year, my wish comes true.
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e
Friday, April 03, 2009
no. 221 guest post by gaia
hello from germany!
i have a gaia here, ready to make her entrance into the wonderful world of blogging, she THINKS it's a one time deal...
heh-we'll see!
"dear world"
hang out with teenagers.
if you are feeling despair over the state of the world...hang out with teenagers.
if you can round up a few grandchildren-
do it.
If they propose to bring along a couple of friends, agree immediately.
The thing is, teenagers dont's know what a couple is, in their world it can be anything from five to fifteen.
Say o.K. to them all and then relax and watch and be reassured by the end of the day that there is hope for the world.
yes, they are members of another species, probably from another planet, but one that, given time and encouragement and acceptance, will save the world.
Today I went to a swimming spa near Heidelberg with my grandchildren and a 'couple ' of friends, I lost count at about ten. Anyway, it was terrific.
I won't go into gory details about ending up in the Herren changing room instead of the Damen one, or learning that we hadn't paid for a sauna and therefore needed to put our gear in a locker that was absolutely identical to the one we had erroneously already stowed it.
What is interesting to me is how they KNEW we weren't sauna approved, very strange.
It was a gorgeous day, we could sunbathe outside in between swimming in the outside pool. The kids,predominantly boys, played with a soft water ball. they were noisy and harmless. it interested me that they were checked for behavior several times, while they weren't doing anything different from others, only they were noisier.
NOT AT ALL FAIR.
If adults were pushed around in this way they'd be furious. This was illuminating. All in all, however, this was a wonderful day, with the wonderful company of kids. I give my thanks to them all for a day I'll treasure and they don't even know the gift they were giving, of sweet vitality, and zest for life.
Oh yes, and innocence, kids disguised by nature as young adults,but still kids, bloody marvellous.
...kisses and wishes
...hope and virtue
...umarmen und lieben
e and gaia
i have a gaia here, ready to make her entrance into the wonderful world of blogging, she THINKS it's a one time deal...
heh-we'll see!
"dear world"
hang out with teenagers.
if you are feeling despair over the state of the world...hang out with teenagers.
if you can round up a few grandchildren-
do it.
If they propose to bring along a couple of friends, agree immediately.
The thing is, teenagers dont's know what a couple is, in their world it can be anything from five to fifteen.
Say o.K. to them all and then relax and watch and be reassured by the end of the day that there is hope for the world.
yes, they are members of another species, probably from another planet, but one that, given time and encouragement and acceptance, will save the world.
Today I went to a swimming spa near Heidelberg with my grandchildren and a 'couple ' of friends, I lost count at about ten. Anyway, it was terrific.
I won't go into gory details about ending up in the Herren changing room instead of the Damen one, or learning that we hadn't paid for a sauna and therefore needed to put our gear in a locker that was absolutely identical to the one we had erroneously already stowed it.
What is interesting to me is how they KNEW we weren't sauna approved, very strange.
It was a gorgeous day, we could sunbathe outside in between swimming in the outside pool. The kids,predominantly boys, played with a soft water ball. they were noisy and harmless. it interested me that they were checked for behavior several times, while they weren't doing anything different from others, only they were noisier.
NOT AT ALL FAIR.
If adults were pushed around in this way they'd be furious. This was illuminating. All in all, however, this was a wonderful day, with the wonderful company of kids. I give my thanks to them all for a day I'll treasure and they don't even know the gift they were giving, of sweet vitality, and zest for life.
Oh yes, and innocence, kids disguised by nature as young adults,but still kids, bloody marvellous.
...kisses and wishes
...hope and virtue
...umarmen und lieben
e and gaia
no. 220 spring has SPRUNG
can you hear it...
can you...
the teeny tiny voice from
faaar away?
the voice
yup.
it's me!
dancing a little essie happy dance
singing a little essie happy spring song
officially on spring break
with her momma,
and her family,
on break
in europe-
doesn't get better than that!
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
can you...
the teeny tiny voice from
faaar away?
the voice
yup.
it's me!
dancing a little essie happy dance
singing a little essie happy spring song
officially on spring break
with her momma,
and her family,
on break
in europe-
doesn't get better than that!
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
no.218 mars and venus
so yesterday and this morning were FULL of excitement over the concert-
oh my heavens, i even slept with the confirmation printout on the other side of the bed b/c i simply couldn't believe that i was/we were going...
(still going-no worries there)
then
today
i got home.
home is meant to be a happy place, right?
this school year
-since november actually-
home has been more stressful than peaceful
which pretty much sucks ass
seriously.
we said back in the day that we wanted our house to be open and welcoming, today it was the friday typical...high schoolers, middle schoolers, boylies
and
an exhausted team leader who had driven back from italy.
today.
8 hours
which admittedly is a long drive.
he has been gone for some time
with stomach bugs and sickness, taking over casa h, i've been a big bad worker bee
and i'm a little tired
which he and some friends pointed out today
the friends tip-toed into the convo...
team leader, not so gracious, and very "army-ish" in approach
i'm not going to go into the fight we had, but i am seriously
seriously
like m-fing pissed off at him.
he really doesn't get it sometimes
like a total lost cause
he's this unreal f-ing soldier
but the simple stuff is
UTTERLY lost on him
and this time, i'm breaking the rules and going to bed pissed.
he says i'm too moody up and down
i say he's ignorant to anything that isn't tattooed to his forehead
it is mars and venus in our house tonight and there doesn't appear to be a planet alignment happening before tomorrow.
*(&%(#&(@#$&@#)!~!!!!!!!
oh my heavens, i even slept with the confirmation printout on the other side of the bed b/c i simply couldn't believe that i was/we were going...
(still going-no worries there)
then
today
i got home.
home is meant to be a happy place, right?
this school year
-since november actually-
home has been more stressful than peaceful
which pretty much sucks ass
seriously.
we said back in the day that we wanted our house to be open and welcoming, today it was the friday typical...high schoolers, middle schoolers, boylies
and
an exhausted team leader who had driven back from italy.
today.
8 hours
which admittedly is a long drive.
he has been gone for some time
with stomach bugs and sickness, taking over casa h, i've been a big bad worker bee
and i'm a little tired
which he and some friends pointed out today
the friends tip-toed into the convo...
team leader, not so gracious, and very "army-ish" in approach
i'm not going to go into the fight we had, but i am seriously
seriously
like m-fing pissed off at him.
he really doesn't get it sometimes
like a total lost cause
he's this unreal f-ing soldier
but the simple stuff is
UTTERLY lost on him
and this time, i'm breaking the rules and going to bed pissed.
he says i'm too moody up and down
i say he's ignorant to anything that isn't tattooed to his forehead
it is mars and venus in our house tonight and there doesn't appear to be a planet alignment happening before tomorrow.
*(&%(#&(@#$&@#)!~!!!!!!!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
no.217 you-too!
24 July 2009
Dublin Ireland
u2 in concert
me...having a TOTAL fit
holy mess
and maybe a bit of a heart attack too-
though i really do think that joking about heart attacks isn't funny-
seriously, i'm so excited i can hardly talk.
for real
hardly talk.
it's a beautiful day kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
essie
Dublin Ireland
u2 in concert
me...having a TOTAL fit
holy mess
and maybe a bit of a heart attack too-
though i really do think that joking about heart attacks isn't funny-
seriously, i'm so excited i can hardly talk.
for real
hardly talk.
it's a beautiful day kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
essie
Thursday, March 12, 2009
no. 216 ohhhhhhh
so here i am watching Oprah and celebrity chefs living with her viewers.
*sigh*
why can't they come to germany and live here (in our oh so lovely subsidized apartment) and help me haul my knuckle-dragging family into a healthier food-lifestyle?!!
i spend A LOT of time worrying that because i work, i am shortchanging my family on the pieces of life that are important.it's my own personal cross to bear, i know it, i own it, and one day i hope very much to get over it!
they all know how much eating at table means to me, and that i do insist we slow our day to a screeching halt to take our places at the table and
BE
the family at Casa H.
which is good.
and i do thank them all for that lovely indulgence
i do!
but summing up the issues of this working momma
worrying is part of my parental inheritance
others may get money
me
it's the worry gene as my eternal gift, as if i didn't have enough on my mind...
seriously!
the food bit really does worry me...
in great part because of my own sad, scary uber control food issues from high school
in great part because of the damage i did to myself because of my food issues
in great part because i didn't STOP the crazy until i became pregnant with Preston-
a pregnancy that probably saved my life
in great part because i have a friend who died, and left her family
-my dearest friends-
to question and hate her illness and wonder if they loved her enough
(WHICH, they did, and still do)
in great part because i know i am borderline diabetic as i tiptoe towards menopause
in great part because my beautiful niece at age 6 was just diagnosed with type 1 diabetes
the food bit does worry me.
i want my children to enjoy food, in a healthy, natural and curious way.
i want to put cookbook collection to good use.
i want to whip up wonderfully easy but deliciously smelling and delightfully tasting dishes that make their little mouths water.
i want food to be a natural, tasty, simple, and nutritious part of who were are as a family...with my own celebrity chef at the helm
not a tired momma who should be cooking right now, instead of blogging, can you say spaghetti tonight anyone?
kisses and wishes,
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
essie
*sigh*
why can't they come to germany and live here (in our oh so lovely subsidized apartment) and help me haul my knuckle-dragging family into a healthier food-lifestyle?!!
i spend A LOT of time worrying that because i work, i am shortchanging my family on the pieces of life that are important.it's my own personal cross to bear, i know it, i own it, and one day i hope very much to get over it!
they all know how much eating at table means to me, and that i do insist we slow our day to a screeching halt to take our places at the table and
BE
the family at Casa H.
which is good.
and i do thank them all for that lovely indulgence
i do!
but summing up the issues of this working momma
worrying is part of my parental inheritance
others may get money
me
it's the worry gene as my eternal gift, as if i didn't have enough on my mind...
seriously!
the food bit really does worry me...
in great part because of my own sad, scary uber control food issues from high school
in great part because of the damage i did to myself because of my food issues
in great part because i didn't STOP the crazy until i became pregnant with Preston-
a pregnancy that probably saved my life
in great part because i have a friend who died, and left her family
-my dearest friends-
to question and hate her illness and wonder if they loved her enough
(WHICH, they did, and still do)
in great part because i know i am borderline diabetic as i tiptoe towards menopause
in great part because my beautiful niece at age 6 was just diagnosed with type 1 diabetes
the food bit does worry me.
i want my children to enjoy food, in a healthy, natural and curious way.
i want to put cookbook collection to good use.
i want to whip up wonderfully easy but deliciously smelling and delightfully tasting dishes that make their little mouths water.
i want food to be a natural, tasty, simple, and nutritious part of who were are as a family...with my own celebrity chef at the helm
not a tired momma who should be cooking right now, instead of blogging, can you say spaghetti tonight anyone?
kisses and wishes,
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
essie
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
no. 215 reign
for erika, and gabby-
for their parents
for their husbands
for their sons
for them-
for Alex.
with all the love we can provide
perhaps, never enough, but always
always
there.
from us, for each of you, we remember her.
e
Only love
Can make it rain
The way the beach is kissed by the sea
Only love
Can make it rain
Like the sweat of lovers
Laying in the fields.
Love, Reign o'er me
Love, Reign o'er me, rain on me
Only love
Can bring the rain
That makes you yearn to the sky
Only love
Can bring the rain
That falls like tears from on high
Love Reign O'er me
On the dry and dusty road
The nights we spend apart alone
I need to get back home to cool cool rain
I can't sleep and I lay and I think
The night is hot and black as ink
Oh God, I need a drink of cool cool rain
~The Who
for their parents
for their husbands
for their sons
for them-
for Alex.
with all the love we can provide
perhaps, never enough, but always
always
there.
from us, for each of you, we remember her.
e
Only love
Can make it rain
The way the beach is kissed by the sea
Only love
Can make it rain
Like the sweat of lovers
Laying in the fields.
Love, Reign o'er me
Love, Reign o'er me, rain on me
Only love
Can bring the rain
That makes you yearn to the sky
Only love
Can bring the rain
That falls like tears from on high
Love Reign O'er me
On the dry and dusty road
The nights we spend apart alone
I need to get back home to cool cool rain
I can't sleep and I lay and I think
The night is hot and black as ink
Oh God, I need a drink of cool cool rain
~The Who
Monday, March 02, 2009
no.214 or the with a leprechaun named gaia
it's march friends-m.a.r.c.h. 2009
it seems like the holidays just happened
(since i have YET to remove the arificial xmas tree from our living room...i can see where that little nugget hails)
so where has the time gone?
have we been skiing and working and schooling and working and skiing and
wait-
is that the sound of a teeny little laugh in the distance?
could it possibly be the sound of the world's ONLY scottish leprechaun?!!
why yes it could.
Gaia is coming to germany-and not a moment too soon for any of us-
Gaia included!
we cannot WAIT to see her
even if her plane is a red-eye
we cannot WAIT to hug her
even if we have to smash on top of each other to reach
we cannot WAIT to simply
be
with
her.
we cannot.
so grandpadad...if by chance you read this...
please
work on getting healthy enough to fly.
because we miss you too,
and know that if ever there was a scottish leprechaun, there was a jewish one too...
kisses and wishes
hope and virute
umarmen und lieben
essie
it seems like the holidays just happened
(since i have YET to remove the arificial xmas tree from our living room...i can see where that little nugget hails)
so where has the time gone?
have we been skiing and working and schooling and working and skiing and
wait-
is that the sound of a teeny little laugh in the distance?
could it possibly be the sound of the world's ONLY scottish leprechaun?!!
why yes it could.
Gaia is coming to germany-and not a moment too soon for any of us-
Gaia included!
we cannot WAIT to see her
even if her plane is a red-eye
we cannot WAIT to hug her
even if we have to smash on top of each other to reach
we cannot WAIT to simply
be
with
her.
we cannot.
so grandpadad...if by chance you read this...
please
work on getting healthy enough to fly.
because we miss you too,
and know that if ever there was a scottish leprechaun, there was a jewish one too...
kisses and wishes
hope and virute
umarmen und lieben
essie
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
no. 213 proof
ya'll know that my yoda laptop loads the first photo backwards...don't ask me why...it's a yoda thing apparently! i'm also not too clear on why the labels for each snap are off...
hmm
i'm too lazy to make all the cut and paste happen today, so scroll down and begin at the began!
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
essie
beautiful weekend! next time we hope ya'll can come too!
day 2 load that car!
never a bad hair day when you've got clear skies and you are skiing!!
night fires from our balcony...very very cool!
a second wind snap before our valentines dinner was over
and pres, after eating a complete steak dinner BEFORE we ordered for the family...he was full to his eyeballs when we rolled him away from the table!
there's doodle bug!
and a valentine elf!
two ski sleepy valentines
we ordered dinner for four, and got dinner for four hundred all for 41 euro-can't beat that!
with the little old german ski lift man who scooped me up as i was falling and for the rest of the weekend laughed and called me "de gruen" something or other! was he ever a hoot!
finally at the top! ready to go with daddy
part II of his lessons and still smiling
a daddy and his first boy
my silly valentine...notice the baklavas...it was freezing!!!
we're here and are ready for lessons!
hanging my camera out the window as we drove up the mountain
team leader
in the car on our way
balcony photo shoot before we went skiing
view from our balcony
hmm
i'm too lazy to make all the cut and paste happen today, so scroll down and begin at the began!
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
essie
beautiful weekend! next time we hope ya'll can come too!
day 2 load that car!
never a bad hair day when you've got clear skies and you are skiing!!
night fires from our balcony...very very cool!
a second wind snap before our valentines dinner was over
and pres, after eating a complete steak dinner BEFORE we ordered for the family...he was full to his eyeballs when we rolled him away from the table!
there's doodle bug!
and a valentine elf!
two ski sleepy valentines
we ordered dinner for four, and got dinner for four hundred all for 41 euro-can't beat that!
with the little old german ski lift man who scooped me up as i was falling and for the rest of the weekend laughed and called me "de gruen" something or other! was he ever a hoot!
finally at the top! ready to go with daddy
part II of his lessons and still smiling
a daddy and his first boy
my silly valentine...notice the baklavas...it was freezing!!!
we're here and are ready for lessons!
hanging my camera out the window as we drove up the mountain
team leader
in the car on our way
balcony photo shoot before we went skiing
view from our balcony
no. 212 later than valentines day
home getting over the worst stomach bug EVER, i'm taking a minute to blog.
i had the best valentines day in as many as i can count this year-
(history lesson regarding the life of e and t)
team leader and i have only been valentines 6 of the 17 years we've been together
100% due to his job and all the places he has had to be over the years.
he has always been my valentine, and, i've always been his
but
watching other couples go out to dinner,
buy cutesie outfits for after dinner,
drink champagne and eat chocolate covered strawberries...
when you're not with your valentine
simply put
sucks.
because we can only control what we can control, we've redefined valentines day
we're more about us
and the family we've made together
valentines day in our house has grown from 2 valentines into 5.
i've said before
we know we are different
and
that i wouldn't put this life onto anyone
but for me
and for him
and for our 3
we've made it work.
(lesson over)
this year, we took each other skiing, a wonderful weekend in a beautiful corner of the black forest
where mr. ben got the best valentines gift...ski lessons!
where pres got hours perfecting the art of snowboarding!
where doodle bug got to swoosh up and down a hill stylishly!
where e and t got skiing time together...
little moments for us
on a sparkling white mountain
in the bitter cold,
as it was a beautiful day, and with clear skiing days comes brrrr!
best part of the weekend:
when we went up the slope with mr. ben
who was prepared to take the mountain on with force
who looked at us and said "i'm ready"
and then
as we were just getting set to go
heard pres and doodle
"WAIT BEN!!"
they had come
up the slope to
ski down it
with him.
the magic of the moment wasn't lost on his big brother and sister
it was a moment that parents wait their lives for...
i made a mental snapshot of that second-
the smile on his little face-
the excitement in his daddy's eyes-
the thrill of being as big and as ready as his brother and sister are-
it was a blink.
and then they all took off
our three little valentines
cheering each other on
racing down a mountain
happy to be together (the truest blessing of all LET me tell ya!!)
proud of their accomplishments
comfortable in this surrounding
3 hearts + 2 hearts = a family
later than valentines day
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e
i had the best valentines day in as many as i can count this year-
(history lesson regarding the life of e and t)
team leader and i have only been valentines 6 of the 17 years we've been together
100% due to his job and all the places he has had to be over the years.
he has always been my valentine, and, i've always been his
but
watching other couples go out to dinner,
buy cutesie outfits for after dinner,
drink champagne and eat chocolate covered strawberries...
when you're not with your valentine
simply put
sucks.
because we can only control what we can control, we've redefined valentines day
we're more about us
and the family we've made together
valentines day in our house has grown from 2 valentines into 5.
i've said before
we know we are different
and
that i wouldn't put this life onto anyone
but for me
and for him
and for our 3
we've made it work.
(lesson over)
this year, we took each other skiing, a wonderful weekend in a beautiful corner of the black forest
where mr. ben got the best valentines gift...ski lessons!
where pres got hours perfecting the art of snowboarding!
where doodle bug got to swoosh up and down a hill stylishly!
where e and t got skiing time together...
little moments for us
on a sparkling white mountain
in the bitter cold,
as it was a beautiful day, and with clear skiing days comes brrrr!
best part of the weekend:
when we went up the slope with mr. ben
who was prepared to take the mountain on with force
who looked at us and said "i'm ready"
and then
as we were just getting set to go
heard pres and doodle
"WAIT BEN!!"
they had come
up the slope to
ski down it
with him.
the magic of the moment wasn't lost on his big brother and sister
it was a moment that parents wait their lives for...
i made a mental snapshot of that second-
the smile on his little face-
the excitement in his daddy's eyes-
the thrill of being as big and as ready as his brother and sister are-
it was a blink.
and then they all took off
our three little valentines
cheering each other on
racing down a mountain
happy to be together (the truest blessing of all LET me tell ya!!)
proud of their accomplishments
comfortable in this surrounding
3 hearts + 2 hearts = a family
later than valentines day
kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e
Sunday, February 08, 2009
no. 211 the one where life got a little more diabetic or the hot pink parachute-you decide
news from the other side of the world got a little more intense for our family this week, as we learned that our beautiful little niece has type one diabetes.
it was shocking email, full of gut wretching emotion, and distance-such extreme distance.
i hurt my heart to be so helpless and far away from our family...
nothing we could do
to ease the fear
to shatter the window of scary
to heal the hurt
to answer the questions
to simply be-there-with them all.
knowing the key players in all this, we were able to create our own version of a golden parachute to sweep down over our loved ones and blanket them in cuddles... our parachute happens to be hot pink (and won't cost tax payers a thing, thank you very much!)
yup
a hot pink parachute
(don't judge me...i'm a hot pink kind of gal!)
for our family in florida,
learning how to navigate the winds of change
and insulin
and shots
and carbs
and sugar
and lots of sweetly intended good wishes that are sometimes hard to take in stressful situations
the hot pink parachute of hugs and love
from an essie to an ellie
who has been there too...
from an uncle to a nephew
who feels the scary and wants to swoop up and take it all for him...
from cousins to cousins
who have a tight bond, a lifetime label, "Harrisons"...
from family to family.
i love you honey girl
love you lots and lots and lots!
take care of honey bear for me, he's a little scared, and wants to help.
i know you can show him how.
kisses, wishes
hope and virtue
unarmen und lieben
e
it was shocking email, full of gut wretching emotion, and distance-such extreme distance.
i hurt my heart to be so helpless and far away from our family...
nothing we could do
to ease the fear
to shatter the window of scary
to heal the hurt
to answer the questions
to simply be-there-with them all.
knowing the key players in all this, we were able to create our own version of a golden parachute to sweep down over our loved ones and blanket them in cuddles... our parachute happens to be hot pink (and won't cost tax payers a thing, thank you very much!)
yup
a hot pink parachute
(don't judge me...i'm a hot pink kind of gal!)
for our family in florida,
learning how to navigate the winds of change
and insulin
and shots
and carbs
and sugar
and lots of sweetly intended good wishes that are sometimes hard to take in stressful situations
the hot pink parachute of hugs and love
from an essie to an ellie
who has been there too...
from an uncle to a nephew
who feels the scary and wants to swoop up and take it all for him...
from cousins to cousins
who have a tight bond, a lifetime label, "Harrisons"...
from family to family.
i love you honey girl
love you lots and lots and lots!
take care of honey bear for me, he's a little scared, and wants to help.
i know you can show him how.
kisses, wishes
hope and virtue
unarmen und lieben
e
Sunday, February 01, 2009
no. 210 it's february?!!
the month of
birthdays,
anniversaries,
special days,
and even the 100th day...of school!
it's also the beginning of a major move for one of my cyber-expat pals here in Germany...
Eurotrippen has left the building for a bit, preparing for a move back to the US, where she's starting a new life with her family.
Understanding that there was "no say so" in the situation, it's very hard to see the "maintenence mode" up on her blogsite.
it was bad enough when Rahn's blog went up in smoke...
then mackin ink went the way of well, wherever blogs go when the need is surpassed by all the other things out there.
finally mausi, due to the great need for rest, she has taken a much needed blogging break.
so tonight i say thank you to all these amazing women who have made life as an expat just a bit easier, just a bit more entertaining, and overall just a bit better for this DC girl living in Deutschland.
AND i'd like to welcome another cyber friend, Diane, who is also leaving germany for "warmer climes"
She is witty, well versed, a great read, and someone we all should know!
hope and virtue,
umarmen und lieben
essie
birthdays,
anniversaries,
special days,
and even the 100th day...of school!
it's also the beginning of a major move for one of my cyber-expat pals here in Germany...
Eurotrippen has left the building for a bit, preparing for a move back to the US, where she's starting a new life with her family.
Understanding that there was "no say so" in the situation, it's very hard to see the "maintenence mode" up on her blogsite.
it was bad enough when Rahn's blog went up in smoke...
then mackin ink went the way of well, wherever blogs go when the need is surpassed by all the other things out there.
finally mausi, due to the great need for rest, she has taken a much needed blogging break.
so tonight i say thank you to all these amazing women who have made life as an expat just a bit easier, just a bit more entertaining, and overall just a bit better for this DC girl living in Deutschland.
AND i'd like to welcome another cyber friend, Diane, who is also leaving germany for "warmer climes"
She is witty, well versed, a great read, and someone we all should know!
hope and virtue,
umarmen und lieben
essie
Friday, January 23, 2009
no. 209 what is it about friendship
somtimes everyone needs a time out
not just the littles, but everyone, including us bigs...
this week i found myself up to my eyeballs in a situation where i put myself
in time out
hands up in the air,
i walked away.
and though i've tried not to, i've been thinking about it
walking away
and
my feelings regarding
the beginning,
the middle,
and the end
of all this mess...
how did it get to this?
are we not adults?
when did the past become the present?
and the present become a future in time out?
sadly there aren't too many answers when you're in the middle of a one sided conversation
and since i created the time out, i guess it's here to stay for a bit, my choice.
i can't be any more of the person that i am.
i wake up
start each day with promise and hope
work
work hard
love
with all my might
and when the day is done
i'm happy.
happy as can be.
my life is good.
my life is full.
i can't make someone happy who hasn't been happy.
and i can't change the past.
it is what it is
it is what it is
time out.
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
essie
not just the littles, but everyone, including us bigs...
this week i found myself up to my eyeballs in a situation where i put myself
in time out
hands up in the air,
i walked away.
and though i've tried not to, i've been thinking about it
walking away
and
my feelings regarding
the beginning,
the middle,
and the end
of all this mess...
how did it get to this?
are we not adults?
when did the past become the present?
and the present become a future in time out?
sadly there aren't too many answers when you're in the middle of a one sided conversation
and since i created the time out, i guess it's here to stay for a bit, my choice.
i can't be any more of the person that i am.
i wake up
start each day with promise and hope
work
work hard
love
with all my might
and when the day is done
i'm happy.
happy as can be.
my life is good.
my life is full.
i can't make someone happy who hasn't been happy.
and i can't change the past.
it is what it is
it is what it is
time out.
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
essie
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
no.208 baaad essie
so, sometimes, these kiddos just tick me off
and i morph into
baaaad essie
a screaming banshee momma
who everyone should just smile at
as they run for their lives
seriously
is it too much to ask for
one night of peace?
ergh
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
NOT christina applegate...sigh
and i morph into
baaaad essie
a screaming banshee momma
who everyone should just smile at
as they run for their lives
seriously
is it too much to ask for
one night of peace?
ergh
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
NOT christina applegate...sigh
no. 207 "The time has come..."
boy, has it been a LONG time coming!!
there aren't many words left to say regarding the 43rd presidency of the united states.
sometimes, helicopters can't fly fast enough...
with that, i welcome to washington the man, the family, the team-
my new president and vice president,
with thanks,
with prayer,
and
with a heartfelt belief that we have indeed witnessed the dawning of a new era.
my prayers are with our friend;
grandpa is watching over you...
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
okay-so i'm not as cute as christina applegate-it's been a looong day! but there ya go...essie with short short hair!
xoxox
there aren't many words left to say regarding the 43rd presidency of the united states.
sometimes, helicopters can't fly fast enough...
with that, i welcome to washington the man, the family, the team-
my new president and vice president,
with thanks,
with prayer,
and
with a heartfelt belief that we have indeed witnessed the dawning of a new era.
my prayers are with our friend;
grandpa is watching over you...
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
okay-so i'm not as cute as christina applegate-it's been a looong day! but there ya go...essie with short short hair!xoxox
Thursday, January 15, 2009
no.206 and there's no turning back now!
after watching a marathon of Samantha Who-my new favorite show b/c I simply love Christina Applegate-
AND
taking a hard look at the hair o'essie with my good friend Jules
"JUST make the call."
"GO"
"and be ready for at least 4 inches to be cut off"
i went.
and it's a whole lotta more than 4 inches gone from the head o'essie
i can say that i don't feel like i'm stuck in the '80's any more!
but i love it, and i love the woman who did it, and b/c i'm a baaaaad essie
i'll post a snap tomorrow!
umarmen und lieben
AND
taking a hard look at the hair o'essie with my good friend Jules
"JUST make the call."
"GO"
"and be ready for at least 4 inches to be cut off"
i went.
and it's a whole lotta more than 4 inches gone from the head o'essie
i can say that i don't feel like i'm stuck in the '80's any more!
but i love it, and i love the woman who did it, and b/c i'm a baaaaad essie
i'll post a snap tomorrow!
umarmen und lieben
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
no.205 ps pet haven devotees
ya'll are wonderful...emails and comments are pouring in...
blessed
blessed
blessed!
every girlie should have so many in her corner!
UBER umarmen und lieben!
essie
blessed
blessed
blessed!
every girlie should have so many in her corner!
UBER umarmen und lieben!
essie
no. 204 phv pet haven
okay, calling all my imaginary and very real friends...the doodle bug needs your help with a homework assignment.
she's made a blog to help get the survey out there...please follow the link to
PHV PET HAVEN
to read her post and see the 5 questions she'd like to report back on.
thanks ever so much for helping our girl!
umarmen und lieben
essie
she's made a blog to help get the survey out there...please follow the link to
PHV PET HAVEN
to read her post and see the 5 questions she'd like to report back on.
thanks ever so much for helping our girl!
umarmen und lieben
essie
Saturday, January 03, 2009
no. 203: the one where i realize i am numbering my posts
happy day 3 of 2009!
yesterday team leader and i took doodlebug downtown to the hauptsrasse for some healthy skincare items and to spend a boatload of euro on essential snowboarding equipment!
a helmet and goggles for pres-you can literally go "snow blind" over here and those were the last pieces he needed to be legit-
a backpack for the basics...holding the infamous "team leader fannypack" with snacks, with a tricky little Lycra piece that can hold your helmet to the front of the pack AND a rain cover for the entire thing b/c the Germans are so efficient! (it's really a biking or hiking pack, but for skiing...it's perfect...highly recommend folks!)
and finally, what i considered the critical purchase:
a spine shield for my broke-back hubby who was determined to enjoy his day out with boy1!
(i insisted on the spine shield.
he's not 100% healed up, and as i've shared before, he's a hard one to keep down...
score 1 for the wifey!)
when we were out, i realized that i hadn't made any resolutions, so as a lover of lists...here goes.
the resolution for 2009:
* learn to take care of the momma.
this is important because the wii balance board of video game g-dness opened my eyes to something not so good.
for those on the fence, the wii fit does a user profile for each person in your house when you begin the program
it weighs you, does a bmi test, does a center of balance test and scans your body after some little tests, when it's all done, wii tells you your "wii fit age."
i'm sharing mine because it shocked me...after years of classical ballet training, swimming, running, eating healthy foods, no smoking, mild drinking, and what i thought was a healthy lifestyle...
i am 57 wii years old
yup. 17 years older than i really am.
which of course could be all relative if you think it's just a little machine-which it is-i know.
but seriously...
am i that creaky?
am i that sore?
am i that sad?!
some days i do feel it, and i have an innate sense of where my body is on the Richter scale of life thanks in great part to an UNHEALTHY body image and UNHEALTHY lifestyle many moons ago.
(in short, i was bonkers about the number on the scale, and took it out on me...because THAT was a good idea. i know so much better now.)
so getting back to the actual resolution...many people i know hated 2008.
i can't say that i did, but i can say that something about 2009 feels particularly happy.
can't really explain it, but it does: this new year already feels good.
so i'm beginning this new year wanting to
slow my life down a tad,
really make sure i'm teaching the lessons that need to be taught,
listen to more music,
read more books,
relearn the language i spent years and years learning in the FIRST place
so i'm beginning this new year wanting to
appreciate the parts of me that might be a little squishy,
but become more flexible,
appreciate the parts of me that are a little more grey,
but quintessentially "E"
appreciate being able to talk to my children calmly,
but always with care
appreciate the man who wakes up to my mug-almost every day-
but almost never (he's pretty perfect, but i have to be real here) takes our life together for granted.
so i'm beginning this new year wanting to take care of the momma,
so that the momma can stick around for a long long time,
loving her life
loving her family
loving her friends
loving the all the possibility to be found in a brand new year.
i don't think that's too much of a resolution...
umarmen und lieben
essie
yesterday team leader and i took doodlebug downtown to the hauptsrasse for some healthy skincare items and to spend a boatload of euro on essential snowboarding equipment!
a helmet and goggles for pres-you can literally go "snow blind" over here and those were the last pieces he needed to be legit-
a backpack for the basics...holding the infamous "team leader fannypack" with snacks, with a tricky little Lycra piece that can hold your helmet to the front of the pack AND a rain cover for the entire thing b/c the Germans are so efficient! (it's really a biking or hiking pack, but for skiing...it's perfect...highly recommend folks!)
and finally, what i considered the critical purchase:
a spine shield for my broke-back hubby who was determined to enjoy his day out with boy1!
(i insisted on the spine shield.
he's not 100% healed up, and as i've shared before, he's a hard one to keep down...
score 1 for the wifey!)
when we were out, i realized that i hadn't made any resolutions, so as a lover of lists...here goes.
the resolution for 2009:
* learn to take care of the momma.
this is important because the wii balance board of video game g-dness opened my eyes to something not so good.
for those on the fence, the wii fit does a user profile for each person in your house when you begin the program
it weighs you, does a bmi test, does a center of balance test and scans your body after some little tests, when it's all done, wii tells you your "wii fit age."
i'm sharing mine because it shocked me...after years of classical ballet training, swimming, running, eating healthy foods, no smoking, mild drinking, and what i thought was a healthy lifestyle...
i am 57 wii years old
yup. 17 years older than i really am.
which of course could be all relative if you think it's just a little machine-which it is-i know.
but seriously...
am i that creaky?
am i that sore?
am i that sad?!
some days i do feel it, and i have an innate sense of where my body is on the Richter scale of life thanks in great part to an UNHEALTHY body image and UNHEALTHY lifestyle many moons ago.
(in short, i was bonkers about the number on the scale, and took it out on me...because THAT was a good idea. i know so much better now.)
so getting back to the actual resolution...many people i know hated 2008.
i can't say that i did, but i can say that something about 2009 feels particularly happy.
can't really explain it, but it does: this new year already feels good.
so i'm beginning this new year wanting to
slow my life down a tad,
really make sure i'm teaching the lessons that need to be taught,
listen to more music,
read more books,
relearn the language i spent years and years learning in the FIRST place
so i'm beginning this new year wanting to
appreciate the parts of me that might be a little squishy,
but become more flexible,
appreciate the parts of me that are a little more grey,
but quintessentially "E"
appreciate being able to talk to my children calmly,
but always with care
appreciate the man who wakes up to my mug-almost every day-
but almost never (he's pretty perfect, but i have to be real here) takes our life together for granted.
so i'm beginning this new year wanting to take care of the momma,
so that the momma can stick around for a long long time,
loving her life
loving her family
loving her friends
loving the all the possibility to be found in a brand new year.
i don't think that's too much of a resolution...
umarmen und lieben
essie
Thursday, January 01, 2009
no. 202: the one that is really for one
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
now...treehouse:
leather...worn while making cookies?!
WHO is this woman?!!
seriously-so so
SO
not related to the hubby
who made the
BEST
DECISION
of
HIS
LIFE
when he married
y.o.u.
stinky
smelly
dirty
mean!
okay.
i feel better now!
umarmen und lieben
spider monkey
now...treehouse:
leather...worn while making cookies?!
WHO is this woman?!!
seriously-so so
SO
not related to the hubby
who made the
BEST
DECISION
of
HIS
LIFE
when he married
y.o.u.
stinky
smelly
dirty
mean!
okay.
i feel better now!
umarmen und lieben
spider monkey
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
no. 201:Auld Lang Syne
when i hear the song, it always makes me cry, soppy sentamentality i assume.
but it does
and, those who know me, understand why.
2008 was an amazing year.
it was a year of giving, receiving, losing, finding
many many "ings"
we've already celebrated here in germany, and team leader's first comment,
"this year will be good-i can feel it!"
we are far away, but the love we feel for everyone of you is only as far away as a beating heart
chock full of soppy sentamentality.
"i'll drink a cup of kindness yet
for auld lang syne..."
with all my love, and happy wishes for a GOOD new year
welcome 2009
umarmen und lieben
essie
but it does
and, those who know me, understand why.
2008 was an amazing year.
it was a year of giving, receiving, losing, finding
many many "ings"
we've already celebrated here in germany, and team leader's first comment,
"this year will be good-i can feel it!"
we are far away, but the love we feel for everyone of you is only as far away as a beating heart
chock full of soppy sentamentality.
"i'll drink a cup of kindness yet
for auld lang syne..."
with all my love, and happy wishes for a GOOD new year
welcome 2009
umarmen und lieben
essie
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
no. 200! Or the one where Momma catches up from a whirlwind month o' love!
i'm back folks!
the past few weeks have been slammed with family fun, celebration, love, peace, joy, and now...some quiet before we ring in 2009!
starting with Mr. Ben
who turned 9 this month...
i was roused out of my comfy bed that morning to the sound of his sweet voice in my ear:
"momma, can you believe it? your baby is NINE today!"
naturally, i cried.
who ever thinks that, in the moment of cradling an infant and kissing his soft forehead, that the child in your arms would ever be big?
i didn't.
but big has snuck up on me
most of his friends were stateside for the holidays, save one-Alex, so we went with "Preston's Crew" to one of our favorite places "JumpInn."
JumpInn is a warehouse that is full of trampolines, inflatable climbing things and the whatnot that wears kids out, AND sells alcohol to parents who have to sit there for 4 hours and watch.
nice!
Mr. Ben had more gifts to enjoy than even a TEN year old could open...it was a wonderful birthday that merged into the first night of Hannukah
lighting the candles, using Ben's menorah this year, was a special treat...we had our dear friends Dan and Jules
come from Belgium for the week.
they got to celebrate many nights of Hannukah in addition to the Christmas Eve revelry that rolled into 5 days of nothing but fun, friendship, and (extended) family.
always game for "mandatory fun ala Casa H" is our other friend John
such a good sport-putting up with the management of 5 highly opinionated folks...he truly "goes with the flow!"
he was with us for the holidays too-waay back in early december, when TL was tdy, he ventured out to not 1, but 2 Wheinnacht Markts-my favorite places this time of year-where he was convinced i would be arrested for my "grow as we go" collection of ghluwein mugs!
(i wasn't-you pay a deposit, and if you keep the mug or get too drunk to return it, you forfit the deposit-so there!)
but wheinnachts markts will be another post-
and this post...
a slight pause in programming my friends-oreo has to go out!
umarmen und lieben
essie
i'll be back-promise!!
the past few weeks have been slammed with family fun, celebration, love, peace, joy, and now...some quiet before we ring in 2009!
starting with Mr. Ben
who turned 9 this month...
i was roused out of my comfy bed that morning to the sound of his sweet voice in my ear:
"momma, can you believe it? your baby is NINE today!"
naturally, i cried.
who ever thinks that, in the moment of cradling an infant and kissing his soft forehead, that the child in your arms would ever be big?
i didn't.
but big has snuck up on me
most of his friends were stateside for the holidays, save one-Alex, so we went with "Preston's Crew" to one of our favorite places "JumpInn."JumpInn is a warehouse that is full of trampolines, inflatable climbing things and the whatnot that wears kids out, AND sells alcohol to parents who have to sit there for 4 hours and watch.
nice!
Mr. Ben had more gifts to enjoy than even a TEN year old could open...it was a wonderful birthday that merged into the first night of Hannukah
lighting the candles, using Ben's menorah this year, was a special treat...we had our dear friends Dan and Jules
come from Belgium for the week. they got to celebrate many nights of Hannukah in addition to the Christmas Eve revelry that rolled into 5 days of nothing but fun, friendship, and (extended) family.
always game for "mandatory fun ala Casa H" is our other friend John
such a good sport-putting up with the management of 5 highly opinionated folks...he truly "goes with the flow!" he was with us for the holidays too-waay back in early december, when TL was tdy, he ventured out to not 1, but 2 Wheinnacht Markts-my favorite places this time of year-where he was convinced i would be arrested for my "grow as we go" collection of ghluwein mugs!
(i wasn't-you pay a deposit, and if you keep the mug or get too drunk to return it, you forfit the deposit-so there!)
but wheinnachts markts will be another post-
and this post...
a slight pause in programming my friends-oreo has to go out!
umarmen und lieben
essie
i'll be back-promise!!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
call it as you see it
WWE
tricky...most folks associate WWE with total "redneckery"
(yes, i just made that word up, go with me here.)
i know that i did.
when we moved here, tv was, tv was,
limited-at best!
what we could count on, programming wise,
was wrestling...
lots and lots of wrestling..
not exactly my version of "must see tv"
and i can't say that i was overjoyed when
Mr. Ben decided that John Cena was as close to immortal as a man could possibly be.
who in the heck was this guy?
why did someone named the Undertaker have more control over my son than i did?!
seriously!
in the past 16 months, i've learned to accept the growing WWE cult fascination that has eclipsed the family, i still think most of it is rubbish but i cannot contain my intense dislike for Randy Orton, JBL, and someone else who just looks like a big fatso throwing men around in a speedo.
focusing back to topic:
last night Team Leader came into the bedroom and said
"honey-check out this site
and this NOW."
i did.
you need to also.
last night WWE and Ultimate Fighting had an event in Fayetteville North Carolina-Ft. Bragg-at the Crown Colleseum, down the road from our house. The event was televised on pay per view for one reason...to help raise money for the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund.
very famous wrestlers (in the WWE world) and fighters (in the Ulitmate Fight world)spoke personally about the desperate need to address the startling absence of medicinal, theraputic, and psychological support with respect to soldiers (and their survivors) returning from war with traumatic brain injury "TBI"
i was amazed.
TBI is something our family has endured for 12 years now-since my father's tragic heart surgery-it is a horrifying daily test of extreme emotional upheaval.
the brain is a mysterious organ-full of hope and disaster-love and loss.
believe me when i say...
i know this all too well.
what i am most surprised by-and i know i shouldn't be- is this;
these men and women aren't willing to wait for the government to provide lackluster care for our troops.
these men and women aren't willing to lose another person-not one more.
these men and women are becoming part of the solution-rather than band-aid the problem.
because THEY see the problem
and
they won't say no.
WWE has been voted the most supportive troop entertainment by the USO for years.
it's no wonder.
putting their money where their mouths are, these folks spend as much time downrange as they do onstage, it's a 50-50 split.
when they disembark, morale is screamingly high, soldiers FEEL that they aren't alone.
holidays-no matter
anniversaries-no matter
birthdays-no matter
if the troops need it, WWE makes it happen.
So.
This year.
if you find yourself unsure of HOW to REALLY support our troops and not just drive around in an SUV or fancy sedan with a yellow ribbon magnet by your gas tank declaring your support...
do this.
make a donation
donate to making a soldier's life worth living again
Intrepid Fallen Heroes
Fight for the Troops
umarmen und lieben
essie
tricky...most folks associate WWE with total "redneckery"
(yes, i just made that word up, go with me here.)
i know that i did.
when we moved here, tv was, tv was,
limited-at best!
what we could count on, programming wise,
was wrestling...
lots and lots of wrestling..
not exactly my version of "must see tv"
and i can't say that i was overjoyed when
Mr. Ben decided that John Cena was as close to immortal as a man could possibly be.
who in the heck was this guy?
why did someone named the Undertaker have more control over my son than i did?!
seriously!
in the past 16 months, i've learned to accept the growing WWE cult fascination that has eclipsed the family, i still think most of it is rubbish but i cannot contain my intense dislike for Randy Orton, JBL, and someone else who just looks like a big fatso throwing men around in a speedo.
focusing back to topic:
last night Team Leader came into the bedroom and said
"honey-check out this site
and this NOW."
i did.
you need to also.
last night WWE and Ultimate Fighting had an event in Fayetteville North Carolina-Ft. Bragg-at the Crown Colleseum, down the road from our house. The event was televised on pay per view for one reason...to help raise money for the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund.
very famous wrestlers (in the WWE world) and fighters (in the Ulitmate Fight world)spoke personally about the desperate need to address the startling absence of medicinal, theraputic, and psychological support with respect to soldiers (and their survivors) returning from war with traumatic brain injury "TBI"
i was amazed.
TBI is something our family has endured for 12 years now-since my father's tragic heart surgery-it is a horrifying daily test of extreme emotional upheaval.
the brain is a mysterious organ-full of hope and disaster-love and loss.
believe me when i say...
i know this all too well.
what i am most surprised by-and i know i shouldn't be- is this;
these men and women aren't willing to wait for the government to provide lackluster care for our troops.
these men and women aren't willing to lose another person-not one more.
these men and women are becoming part of the solution-rather than band-aid the problem.
because THEY see the problem
and
they won't say no.
WWE has been voted the most supportive troop entertainment by the USO for years.
it's no wonder.
putting their money where their mouths are, these folks spend as much time downrange as they do onstage, it's a 50-50 split.
when they disembark, morale is screamingly high, soldiers FEEL that they aren't alone.
holidays-no matter
anniversaries-no matter
birthdays-no matter
if the troops need it, WWE makes it happen.
So.
This year.
if you find yourself unsure of HOW to REALLY support our troops and not just drive around in an SUV or fancy sedan with a yellow ribbon magnet by your gas tank declaring your support...
do this.
make a donation
donate to making a soldier's life worth living again
Intrepid Fallen Heroes
Fight for the Troops
umarmen und lieben
essie
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
good thing
changing the mood, ever so...
there i was.
standing in the commissary, at self check
little tired,
looking a little rough,
but remembering Nicola's email,
and smiling at the kid who was helping me load my canvas bags onto the turnstile instead of using plastic-
holding up all the other shoppers behind me, I'm certain.
when I heard my name-
like a shriek, that i didn't expect (i was at the commissary after all)
i jumped and saw my friend Michelle running at me.
Michelle who always wears a smile-
Michelle who was beaming and yelling my name-
in the commissary!
back ground/sidebar
Michelle is the president of our Spouses Club.
she's the friend who roped me into being the Membership Chair (and I will ALWAYS say, all I thought the job entailed was writing thank-you notes...)
today was our BOG meeting, and a really big welfare request was on the table.
big people, really big.
it was the kind of need that most people hear about and think
"well...better luck next time"
it was for children in the community where I work...
a base-post which is technically a tiny piece of American soil...
where many "have-nots" reside.
in the past all they have heard is
"no."
i have been praying for change in this community-
and today
there was Michelle to tell me
that
this amazing group of people said
"yes."
because they could and they wanted to-
they said yes.
and, "yes" was unanimous-
such a wonderfully good good thing!
a mitzvah, in this season of thanks, blessing, and goodwill
these children get all that and more!
opportunity
hope
education
the world is a bigger place tonight
big and good.
yay!!
umarmen und lieben
essie
there i was.
standing in the commissary, at self check
little tired,
looking a little rough,
but remembering Nicola's email,
and smiling at the kid who was helping me load my canvas bags onto the turnstile instead of using plastic-
holding up all the other shoppers behind me, I'm certain.
when I heard my name-
like a shriek, that i didn't expect (i was at the commissary after all)
i jumped and saw my friend Michelle running at me.
Michelle who always wears a smile-
Michelle who was beaming and yelling my name-
in the commissary!
back ground/sidebar
Michelle is the president of our Spouses Club.
she's the friend who roped me into being the Membership Chair (and I will ALWAYS say, all I thought the job entailed was writing thank-you notes...)
today was our BOG meeting, and a really big welfare request was on the table.
big people, really big.
it was the kind of need that most people hear about and think
"well...better luck next time"
it was for children in the community where I work...
a base-post which is technically a tiny piece of American soil...
where many "have-nots" reside.
in the past all they have heard is
"no."
i have been praying for change in this community-
and today
there was Michelle to tell me
that
this amazing group of people said
"yes."
because they could and they wanted to-
they said yes.
and, "yes" was unanimous-
such a wonderfully good good thing!
a mitzvah, in this season of thanks, blessing, and goodwill
these children get all that and more!
opportunity
hope
education
the world is a bigger place tonight
big and good.
yay!!
umarmen und lieben
essie
Sunday, December 07, 2008
thinking about thinking
is it more important to have the gifts wrapped and mailed, cards addressed and on the way?
or
is it more important to sit down and make a gingerbread house with one of your children-
is it more important to stop and hug your high schooler-staring straight into his eyes when you say "i love you"-
is it more important to reach out and hold a little hand as you navigate through a bustling village square-
is it more important to take a minute to answer a deliberately asked question, with honesty and reverence-
what is more important?
the hustle that we've all bought into,
or
the moments that make us real-
the moments that make us human-
the moments that make us approachable-
i know what i think...what about you?
umarmen und lieben
essie
or
is it more important to sit down and make a gingerbread house with one of your children-
is it more important to stop and hug your high schooler-staring straight into his eyes when you say "i love you"-
is it more important to reach out and hold a little hand as you navigate through a bustling village square-
is it more important to take a minute to answer a deliberately asked question, with honesty and reverence-
what is more important?
the hustle that we've all bought into,
or
the moments that make us real-
the moments that make us human-
the moments that make us approachable-
i know what i think...what about you?
umarmen und lieben
essie
Friday, December 05, 2008
goooood morning
just woke up-haven't even had coffee-knew I had to blog b/c I woke up to Britney Spears' new song "Womanizer" racing through my head.
seriously
WHAT is that about?
so today's post is about other people waking up-
without coffee-
without britney songs dancing through their heads-
waking up, back at home in germany, rather than Iraq or Afghanistan.
yesterday a company returned to mannheim from a 15 month of tour of duty.
i had a few kinder out of school, because daddy was back.
daddy was back!
driving off post yesterday the entrance gates were COVERED with welcome signs.
some were funny, with funny family photos, funny greeings-funny.
some were serious, with serious photos, serious words-serious.
some made absolutely no sense at all...to anyone, that is, except the recipient.
a few were heartbreakingly full of love, loss, angst over time that was gone.
one struck me-hard.
all it said was "-----, in a few minutes, you'll be back in my arms"
when i saw it i started to cry.
it's very hard to explain this life to my civilian friends.
they do a wonderful job of laughing away the "essie-crazy" of my life, and listening to me complain about one thing or another...most of them can read my morning face and tell if team leader and i are "in a fight!"
but this life-my life-they've all said, at one time or another, that they don't get it and wouldn't want it.
which i understand.
as i have said many times
it isn't for everyone.
imagine your a husband or wife leaving for a 15 month business trip that could kill him or her...it's unfathomable, really it is...just friggen nuts.
you don't get to see them for at least 7 months, and when you do, it's for 2 weeks.
phone calls, emails, they're nice and all, but it's not the same as having someone you love
in
your
arms.
not the same.
this isn't a "whoa feel sorry for us" post
i know that i married a soldier, "not the mailman" as I often joke
but for today, on my blog, because i can
not a sermon, just a thought...
for your significant other, today,
wrap them in your arms and TELL them that you love them
saying with meaning and intensity
look them in the eye and whisper
"i love you"
because for every daddy that came home, somewhere there is a family that didn't get a reunion-
daddy, uncle, son, brother will not be coming home.
**side note: i just read in our morning news that 15 soliders died from this company.
please say a small prayer for their survivors, as this weekend will be particularly difficult for them, the deceased brothers-in-arms, and their commanders.**
my dear friend leah emailed the horrifying news 2 months ago that a 5th grade teacher at my school in NC had been informed that her husband had been killed overseas.
the word now, is that no one really talks about it at school...what can you say?
there isn't much.
so do it.
say i love you and mean it, no matter what kind of day you end up having
you won't regret how it started
be thankful for the daily rituals that may drive you crazy
be thankful for the person who
doesn't
have
to
go
be thankful and say so.
now.
it's time for coffee.
umarmen und lieben
essie
seriously
WHAT is that about?
so today's post is about other people waking up-
without coffee-
without britney songs dancing through their heads-
waking up, back at home in germany, rather than Iraq or Afghanistan.
yesterday a company returned to mannheim from a 15 month of tour of duty.
i had a few kinder out of school, because daddy was back.
daddy was back!
driving off post yesterday the entrance gates were COVERED with welcome signs.
some were funny, with funny family photos, funny greeings-funny.
some were serious, with serious photos, serious words-serious.
some made absolutely no sense at all...to anyone, that is, except the recipient.
a few were heartbreakingly full of love, loss, angst over time that was gone.
one struck me-hard.
all it said was "-----, in a few minutes, you'll be back in my arms"
when i saw it i started to cry.
it's very hard to explain this life to my civilian friends.
they do a wonderful job of laughing away the "essie-crazy" of my life, and listening to me complain about one thing or another...most of them can read my morning face and tell if team leader and i are "in a fight!"
but this life-my life-they've all said, at one time or another, that they don't get it and wouldn't want it.
which i understand.
as i have said many times
it isn't for everyone.
imagine your a husband or wife leaving for a 15 month business trip that could kill him or her...it's unfathomable, really it is...just friggen nuts.
you don't get to see them for at least 7 months, and when you do, it's for 2 weeks.
phone calls, emails, they're nice and all, but it's not the same as having someone you love
in
your
arms.
not the same.
this isn't a "whoa feel sorry for us" post
i know that i married a soldier, "not the mailman" as I often joke
but for today, on my blog, because i can
not a sermon, just a thought...
for your significant other, today,
wrap them in your arms and TELL them that you love them
saying with meaning and intensity
look them in the eye and whisper
"i love you"
because for every daddy that came home, somewhere there is a family that didn't get a reunion-
daddy, uncle, son, brother will not be coming home.
**side note: i just read in our morning news that 15 soliders died from this company.
please say a small prayer for their survivors, as this weekend will be particularly difficult for them, the deceased brothers-in-arms, and their commanders.**
my dear friend leah emailed the horrifying news 2 months ago that a 5th grade teacher at my school in NC had been informed that her husband had been killed overseas.
the word now, is that no one really talks about it at school...what can you say?
there isn't much.
so do it.
say i love you and mean it, no matter what kind of day you end up having
you won't regret how it started
be thankful for the daily rituals that may drive you crazy
be thankful for the person who
doesn't
have
to
go
be thankful and say so.
now.
it's time for coffee.
umarmen und lieben
essie
with love, and thanks, to my friend Nicola
today the following was in my email at school from a wonderful woman who is my friend, here, in germany.
i say that, because, when we got here, and team leader was immediately thrown into work leaving me and the kids utterly ALONE,
i quickly realized that i probably wouldn't be making too many "new friends" while we lived here...no crying, i had to be the grown-up for the sake of our kids.
i quickly realized that i had, all the friends i needed, everything already in place in my life before i stepped one foot into this new life.
i quickly realized a whole lotta stuff when we moved.
while nothing changes how much i miss ya'll back in the states,
after i met her, a few fabulous kindergarten folkies who get my "utter essie-ness", and a sped teacher with whom i basically share a birthday-
i quickly realized i was wrong.
there was-is room in my heart for a few more friends...
enjoy
umarmen und lieben
essie
ps (heh, always WATKINS)
i loved the whole thing, but, 22, 16, 12, 9, 3-wowzers.
************************************************************************************
A GREAT RECIPE...
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk,
smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God
about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following
statement, 'My purpose is to_______________ today. I am thankful
for__________________'
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less
food that is manufactured in plants.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild
Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires,
issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot
control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner
like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You are not so important that you have to win every
argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five
years, will this matter?'
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your
friends will. Stay in touch!!!
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following
statements: I am thankful for_________________. Today I
accomplished_________________.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many
blessings...You'll be smiling before you know it.
i say that, because, when we got here, and team leader was immediately thrown into work leaving me and the kids utterly ALONE,
i quickly realized that i probably wouldn't be making too many "new friends" while we lived here...no crying, i had to be the grown-up for the sake of our kids.
i quickly realized that i had, all the friends i needed, everything already in place in my life before i stepped one foot into this new life.
i quickly realized a whole lotta stuff when we moved.
while nothing changes how much i miss ya'll back in the states,
after i met her, a few fabulous kindergarten folkies who get my "utter essie-ness", and a sped teacher with whom i basically share a birthday-
i quickly realized i was wrong.
there was-is room in my heart for a few more friends...
enjoy
umarmen und lieben
essie
ps (heh, always WATKINS)
i loved the whole thing, but, 22, 16, 12, 9, 3-wowzers.
************************************************************************************
A GREAT RECIPE...
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk,
smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God
about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following
statement, 'My purpose is to_______________ today. I am thankful
for__________________'
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less
food that is manufactured in plants.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild
Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires,
issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot
control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner
like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You are not so important that you have to win every
argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five
years, will this matter?'
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your
friends will. Stay in touch!!!
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following
statements: I am thankful for_________________. Today I
accomplished_________________.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many
blessings...You'll be smiling before you know it.
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