Thursday, March 12, 2009

no. 216 ohhhhhhh

so here i am watching Oprah and celebrity chefs living with her viewers.

*sigh*

why can't they come to germany and live here (in our oh so lovely subsidized apartment) and help me haul my knuckle-dragging family into a healthier food-lifestyle?!!

i spend A LOT of time worrying that because i work, i am shortchanging my family on the pieces of life that are important.it's my own personal cross to bear, i know it, i own it, and one day i hope very much to get over it!

they all know how much eating at table means to me, and that i do insist we slow our day to a screeching halt to take our places at the table and
BE
the family at Casa H.
which is good.
and i do thank them all for that lovely indulgence
i do!

but summing up the issues of this working momma
worrying is part of my parental inheritance
others may get money
me
it's the worry gene as my eternal gift, as if i didn't have enough on my mind...
seriously!

the food bit really does worry me...
in great part because of my own sad, scary uber control food issues from high school
in great part because of the damage i did to myself because of my food issues
in great part because i didn't STOP the crazy until i became pregnant with Preston-
a pregnancy that probably saved my life
in great part because i have a friend who died, and left her family
-my dearest friends-
to question and hate her illness and wonder if they loved her enough
(WHICH, they did, and still do)
in great part because i know i am borderline diabetic as i tiptoe towards menopause
in great part because my beautiful niece at age 6 was just diagnosed with type 1 diabetes
the food bit does worry me.

i want my children to enjoy food, in a healthy, natural and curious way.
i want to put cookbook collection to good use.
i want to whip up wonderfully easy but deliciously smelling and delightfully tasting dishes that make their little mouths water.
i want food to be a natural, tasty, simple, and nutritious part of who were are as a family...with my own celebrity chef at the helm

not a tired momma who should be cooking right now, instead of blogging, can you say spaghetti tonight anyone?

kisses and wishes,
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
essie

3 comments:

e said...

awww.
mommy guilt.
don't do it.
don't go there.
you are wonderful.
you are an amazing momma.
and your kids are a beautiful testament to your mothering.
I think eating together as a family no matter what that meal may be, it the best thing you can do.
health homemade meals are good.
but food made w/ love is better.
I love you.
wish I was there to sit around the table with you harrisons.
and enjoy the love.

I know your history.
and I know your heart.
and I'm so glad our firstborns made us better people....and saved us from ourselves...

GOSH I MISS YOU!
(have I mentioned that today!?!?)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxe

e said...

wow e that was long.
mayhaps I should just have emailed you!?! HA ;)

essie said...

e
i love you
on the heels of quite possibly the shittiest day of your life, what am i freaking out about...

and I do-i truly think about Alex at least once a day-and i miss you too-SO SO SO much.

you are totally right-food made with love IS better.
xoxoxox
s