It's 6:50 am on a school day. Do you know where your alarm is?

Wake up to a howl at 4:44 am.
Take the dogs OUT b/c I'm sleepwalking, and I'm clearly on CRACK.
Tony comes out too, which means that the dogs actually come back in, instead of making me chase them around the yard in my pj's.
In the dark. In my pj's.

I clearly get NO respect.

We go back to sleep, thinking, "we'll catch another hour, then it's a new day!"
Wrong. Oh, so VERY wrong.

For whatever reason, I roll over at 6:50.
"HOLY CRAP" (as Ben would say) "It's 6:50!"

And so the day begins for the Harrison Family.
It's lights ON-no gentle wake up's-just "MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT!"
(because now we're all on a Squad and the team leader has had NO coffee...)

I get to the coffee pot first, ensuring that the adults might be lucid.
Then it's the blender-gotta get the kids some smoothies. And we have muffins, that's a breakfast food, right? Who cares.

Team Leader is now sipping coffee in his recliner. Because somehow I have managed to give him coffee and blend at the same time.
(Damn, I really am good!)

For 14 years I have (wrongly) assumed that his mistress is his motorcycle.
It's not.
It's the ugly recliner we have in our living room.
And he's in it-cuddling up to his coffee with vanilla toffee something creamer.

I'm grabbing wildly into the pantry at this point.
PRAYING that the lunch box gods will bless me with filled lunch boxes.

Nope.
I'm s-o-l there, so I start making the 3 picky eater lunches that I've spoiled our kids with.
(Since I'm unemployed, we're all eating VERY well!)

It's 7:15 and from the recliner I keep hearing shouts:
"HONEY"-recliner
"S--t! WHAT"-kitchen no coffee
"Did you see that?"-recliner
"Put the crack pipe down! Are you for real?!"-kitchen no coffee
Every time he yells, I think something else has broken in our house.
OMG-honestly!

Throw the kids their lunches and scream out for teeth brushing to begin.
RACE upstairs to throw on anything that doesn't look like pj's.
Race downstairs to load up the car-AND-

that is when MAXWELL gets out!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!
The little black bullet is charging across our front yard.
Children are chasing him, slipping on the dew, thankfully not DOO!
I'm yelling for Team Leader, who rolls off the recliner to see WHAT the fuss is about.
Out comes Team Leader in his underwear. NICE!
Out come our new neighbors-not in their underwear. (Shorts and t-shirt)
Out comes our state trooper neighbor, in his underwear, to watch his GOOD dog go potty.

It's 7:39 and I have to get the kids to school. My purse rings.
It's Rae, I scream "Max is out and Tony is going to kill him-gotta go!" and hang up!

In the car we call Rana to let her know that for right now, Team Leader is running down the street, throwing the leash at the dog. She's laughing so hard, I think she might have to pee.

Drop the kids off, turn my truck around, drive home, and find MAXWELL on the back porch with a headless squirrel in his mouth.

Really.

Pray for us today people, pray!
hugs and love!