no.303 moving smarts

my overhire was approved yesterday and today she came in to start shadowing me until some time next week
when
my smarties become her smarties...

hitting me like a ton of bricks first thing this morning
quiet little tears surprising my teacher buddy, who hugged me and told me i was doing the right thing for
me,
my family, and
my super smarties.

she's great, the new me, and i really like the her i've known for a day-
i am sure that this is going to be a good transition for my littles,
i am sure this is going to be a good transition for me
i just wish my heart and my head would catch up to each other.
that
would be helpful

umarmen und lieben
essie

no. 302

read cleaving

i have to say, i agree with this review.
team leader had said from the get go that he thought the julie in the movie was kookoo for cocoa puffs,
i just thought i didn't like amy adams in the role...
after reading this book, i get what it was that i didn't like.
i can't really explain it, but i get it now, and
(while admittedly i don't listen to him that often...)
team leader was right.

kookoo for cocoa puffs.
umarmen und lieben
essie
(ps, still love cooking, no worries there!)

no. 301 peace

is sometimes really hard to come by...
it's been a crazy couple of weeks here at casa h
straddling 2 jobs
husband traveling, traveling, traveling
teacher conferences
end of quarter grading
report cards
indoor recess...day after day
straddling 2 jobs
busy.

and when you're like me...
(christmas tree is still up in february)
(christmas stockings still to finish on your reading chair)
(laundry is crawling up a wall)
(camera is out of juice b/c you lost the usb cord to charge it and won't find it until you take your tree down)
you disappear into the stack of books you greedily checked out
i can't reccommend mackenzie phillips book...it is dark, twisty, not well written. i felt sorry for her-sorry and sad. what a mess.
farrah's story was another sad book, but sad for such a different reason-and alana stewart is a fairly good writer-surprisingly.
provenance was excellent! all about art forgery
still working on neverland and the dark side of JM Barrie (author of Peter Pan)

segwaying into: really needing this long weekend.
really!

team leader and i went off on saturday to france
soufflenheim, france
for a runaway lunch
and a gift recon mission in celebration of gaia and grandpadad's 44th anniversary!

FOURTY-FOUR years

we needed to find something really super-
crossing the border into france
ready to shop
where we found the gift
the front shop window
where team leader found the perfect steak
sideways, i'm sorry, but the ceiling and walls were CARVED...so so beautiful!
valentines
and finally some goodies that team leader bought for me


you didn't think i'd show you YOUR gifts
g and g
nooo, you will have to wait for the mail
with all our love!
umarmen und lieben
essie

the 300

is a two fold post only for the good of my heart and begins

with birthday hugs and love floating up to the cloud where i know you are
watching over me
watching over rahn
protecting us
protecting our families and loved ones
every day

in the same way
we protect who you were
in our heads
in our hearts
in our stories
of the student who became family
of the family who let us become family

in my life you are
with me every day.

happy birthday my sweet silly funny naughty absolutely fantastic little dulce
happy birthday love floating up to you with extra frosting, extra dip, extra love on top!


and to my best dear darling friend
phone calls on sunday are meant to be only for good news...in the other side of my heart, i believe that whatever is going on will be resolved.
you will be restored
all will be well.
i believe
i believe
i believe
and love you.
lots.

umarmen und lieben
essie

no. 299 this post

spoke to my heart almost 2 years ago
and still speaks to me today...

had
to
share.
umarmen und lieben
essie

no. 298 yes indeed

not complaining, just full...

my week was nuts last week.
with sick kinder, a traveling hubby, and a broken tooth
i was
ready for the weekend
in the largest of ways come friday night.
wow
was i ready.

friday was conference day, and after 8 conferences in a row, i sat down to eat my homemade tuscan bean soup
(emphasis on the BEAN)
first slurp in and
"whaaat was THAT?!!"
i raced into the bathroom to see my frankenstein tooth
(circa 1992-whole 'nuther post)
trying it's hardest to pop out of my mouth.

holy hot mess
and suddenly i'm in tears thinking about having to go to the dentist
b/c i have a totally irrational fear of the dentist
totally
i can own up to that
the drill makes me go into shock at the sound
whirrrrrrrrrr
and i'm done.

i called my boss (still in tears) who gave me her dentist and said
"get going!! it's friday!!"
i left and came back to our clininc on post
the same clinic where i have YET to be seen after 2 years b/c i'm not active duty deployable ( a whole 'nuther post)
where still in tears i set about to get in on an emergency basis.
THANKFULLY there weren't any natural or unnatural disasters looming and the nice appointment man told me to breathe and fill out the pre-exam paperwork.
which i did.
mentioning said frankenstein tooth in the process...literally.

b/c apparently i am not a horrible person and G-d does want me not to be a basket case 5 percent of the time I was sent back to see Dr. Dentist who started our exam with
"Seriously, i HAVE to see this frankenstein tooh...OPEN UP!"
and made getting a temporary filling
NOT
the end of my life (even though i think i promised him banana pound cake in return for my safety...not too sure)

back peddaling a tad...
i had hung up on team leader twice during my ride to the clinic and sensing my irrational stresslevel at it's max he arrived just as i was coming out for xrays with my early valentine:

ya know the tiffany keys...well...lets just say he went above and beyond!

i'm 100 percent sure my two heart mugs from my polish potter Andy took my gift to him down a notch
but
what the hay it was a gift from the heart, right?!
anyhoo...long story short, i have to go back for an oral surgery evaluation next week and am terrified to eat on one side of my mouth!
BLEECH
maybe now i'll lose a few pounds from the holidays
(taking the lemonade from lemons route here)

friday night was "flea market finds" where i had a riotous time with bb and others
and won a set of soufflenheim pottery (bundt pans)
yay
yay
yay!

it was late late late when i got home
which made waking up at the butt crack of dawn to go antiquing
h.a.r.s.h.
but
wake up i did
and 9 hours later came home with sugar mold candles and holder, and a wash board.
and stories
heavens the stories
SO not g-rated, sorry folks, but funny as the day is long.
my shopping pal-ies
HOW much i love you, i cannot describe, and queen d when you mooooove to savga
bb and i will miiiisssss you
lots.

taking us all the way around to today
we're off to find a new sofa...
hard to do on a sunday in germany b/c every german store is closed.
we'll be looking on base
not a super selection but it's only
looooooooking
not buying-
yet.

and the final BIG piece
the introduction of "bon appetit"
my foodie blog with boylie mr ben!!!
he LOVES the julie/julia movie (i know!!!) and wants to be momma's souschef so we've picked a few recipes from mastering the art...
(including Beouf B!! aunt dot get ready to cook)
and ina
and rachel
and a few other favs
for us to try...together
wish us luck!

umarmen und lieben
essie

ps
*e* i found my usb cord when i took down the tree...pictures are coming!!!
loves you!!!

no.297 what about yours?

two days of phone calls to the school attendance office.
two days of "i'm calling to report my son's absence due to illness..."
two days where i've struck up conversations with said attendance officer b/c i have the phone voice of a teenager
AND
i'm convinced they think i'm NOT someone's momma when i make the call.

i do

if you think i'm kidding,
think back to messages i've left on your cell or home phone.
i have
the
worst
message
voice
on the planet.
seriously-it stinks!
explaining why i could never be a voice over actor
or
really really good at making voices when i read stories aloud.

my brother D. now HE has a voice that leaves a message
D. can concoct a character faster than you can snap your fingers
mr. ben inheirited that trait from his uncle D.
pres and doodle, they are clearly their mothers children
and team leader...forget it.
he has two voices
ranger and rangerous
(heh...that cracks me up...rangerous)

so today i've made batch of calls part II and am at home with the boylies
with fingers crossed
that we are cruising into the path of wellness
rather than crashing on the street of sick.

umarmen und lieben
essie
(ps, just in case you wondered, not paranoid, just recalling the days of past when a certain ms. kadow would call in MY own absences.
until...
someone in the office realized that the caller did NOT have my mother's scottish accent and clearly could not be her on the line.
um yeah, kind of forgot about that detail...)

no. 296 things you didn't know

1. my christmas tree is still up...
i simply loathe taking it down
it makes me sad
it makes me wistfull
it makes me think about everything i want and need to do with a fresh new year
that is already
slipping through my fingertips.

2. after 2 and a half years i still can't believe i live in germany...
i walk down the street every morning with oreo
thinking how amazing it is that
we live here
thinking how strange it is that
we live on a military base
thinking how conflicting it is that
i am happy but i am sad
because we are so far away...living here in germany.

3. i'm not an "animal planet" kind of mom...
cats, dogs, fish.
that's about it for me
and
i really think i like fish best
because fish can't bark at you at 5am to go out for a morning
walk.
yes fish are, currently, holding down the fort at #1.

4. i hate doing homework as much as i hate making up homework assignments...
who in their right mind likes policing their kids after a long enough day at work?
not
me.

5. i'm not 100% sure how we are going to pull off all the expected traveling we've committed ourselves to this summer...
but, like most things we do, it will happen
though i'm pretty certain that a
really large RV
might be in the works
and casa h will become casa griswald.
um yeah
pretty certain.

6. i worry about my family constantly...
(well, some of you loyal readers, some of you already knew that but i felt compelled to throw that in)
i'm not glass half empty
i'm just concerned about what i'm leaving my children-
those insane life lessons that we all survived
at the time
but feel like they will KILL ME
now that the shoe is on the other foot.
*sigh*

7. my recent passport picture was a euro biometric photo = no smile...
it's not flattering
i didn't know that my mouth points down (suggesting, according to the internet, that i am either depressed or miserable or both)
i didn't know that i cared
i guess i'm a little vain in my middle years.
hmm

8. our dog loves clothes...
LOVES them
and
even though team leader and bird are in cohoots against it
i AM buying him
leiderhosen!
yes, i am.

9. even though i can be a mom-ster at home...
i really am a happy person

10. i have three plans for us, in pen, on my essie agenda this year...
a long weekend in paris for spring break
ahhhh
paris in april
a regular weekend at the cordon bleu in november for this foodie momma
yum
cordon bleu, markets, did i mention cordon bleu
and
hogmanay in scotland.
flippen hogmanay-EXCELLENT!!!
those things WILL happen

taking me right back to number 6
living a good life is one of those lessons, right?
we're giving our littles that much, so, maybe i should ease up on that one...

(hugs to jay for the delish lunch to celebrate the new job which still hasn't officially begun...we need a list to hire a new teacher...fingers crossed that happens soon.)

umarmen und lieben
essie

no.295 birthday birthday birthday

hugs and love for my daddy!!!

who has made it to there and back
and is celebrating
the 27th anniversary
of 42!

a girl couldn't ask for a better poppa than the one i have-
he's been a quiet driving force behind the hurricane gales of my life
and when rain came pouring down in his
i did everything i could to be constant ray of supportive light for him

my birthday wish for my daddy this year
to continue to be a daughter worthy of his love
and to make any rain this year
turn into rainbows

i love you poppa nagise!!!
happy happy birthday!!!
nonnie

no.293 skiing weekend

begins NOW!!!

back with photos for this blog
and
e2e

on monday!
umarmen und lieben
essie

no.292 breathing

or at least trying to!

so the cat is out of the bag now-
staff at school was told on tuesday
letters went home to my parents yesterday
bag is wide open
and
empty-wait
full-

i got an amazing opportunity
to work as the primary literacy coach (preK-2)
at my school
and
i took it.

loving my little Smarties like i do
made this one of the hardest decisions i think i've made in forever and 1000 years.
but i did
i decided
and telling my sweeties was hard for me.
fortunately they made it better by being their shiny happy Smartie selves
walking out the door to home with big smiles and hugs
(a very nice way to end that part of my day, as the momma/wife-ness at casa h became full on monster-ness later in the afternoon *sigh* )

and so that's it
my kids know that in a few weeks there will be a new teacher
my family knows i'm having teeny tiny heart attacks
excited
scared
happy
sad
thankful
and trying to remember to breathe breathe breathe
which shouldd be the natural part of all this, right?

breathe in
breathe out
umarmen und lieben
essie

ps any happy parenting style thoughts would be appreciated by pres and team leader
they are both slightly over mine and me...slightly over theirs!

no.291 it's here!

on the same day, the launching of my heart
and
the arrival of my own copies of Mastering the Art of French Cooking!

e2e
the story of two crazy loving friends who have
lived,
loved,
endured,
and come back to do it all over again
worldwide
jumping headfirst into good coffee poured over
the
most wonderfully delicious friendship
as we share the mornings of our lives
one in arkansas
one in germany
2 in spirit.

i love you bunches and bunches e
i love us
i love this!
umarmen und lieben
essie

btw, no need to feel left out Julia, i love you too!

no. 290 SNOOOOOOOOOOOW DAY

mr ben: why do we NEVER get snow days during SCHOOL DAYS?!!
momma: oooo my little man...so seriously feeling your pain :)

it's funny how the kinder seem to think that the biggers don't relish the thought of a perfectly snowy world once in a while.
(newsflash...WE DO!)

insteading of heading out with my partners in pottery
(which is probably a good thing with respect to my ever challenged bank account)
for a morning of kitchen shop-tastic in Frankfurt
i woke up to
snow.
sweet like sugar
but lots and lots colder
snow.

4 hours of internet trolling later (as i woke up with a start at the asshat of dawn)
i re-found these babies
calling me from the computer
begging me to give them a home

i think it's a no brainer.
not a snow day find on a school day, but good enough.

off to wake teens, and hubby, and dog.
umarmen und lieben
essie

no. 289 gaia

with love comes responsibility.
often, all the managing of the hearts becomes quite tiring, even when done in
love.

the responsibility of love,
you've adjusted
you've managed
you've survived
all in the name-

the responsibility of love
given in return
fell onto
us
sometimes we did it brilliantly
other times
not so much
regardless, you were always there, like a bright shining star
a beacon in our family sky-

the responsibilty of love
given, recieved, shared, passed on
in a handwritten letter
hanging from wired ribbon on our christmas tree
standing in Denny's in pajamas at 3am
keeping 4 very naughty kittens
learning how to use a cell phone
taking a plane across an ocean
all
by
yourself

the responsibility of love
you accepted head on.
when you did,
you made each of us
better
and the world
a teeny bit happier
(you are scottish after all and we can't make everything shiny and happy now can we!)

all rolled up into the best gift any family could ever want on
the 12th day of christmas...
i love you mommy, happy birthday wishes and kisses, from your girl

ps-i'm fairly sure you'll question THIS photo,
but,
i picked it because it was of you-still
enjoying the moment of your life in mr. ben's "flower heaven"

no.288 no way

no how
no words.

e, um...helllooo?!!!
my diabolically creative hack-tastic teen
making the momma a wittle bittle cwazy.

gab, that precious babe of yours-
no
he will
never
do something like this to his momma!

heavens.
essie

no. 287 take this mom

Well mom , I told you I was gonna surprise you...
with something big,
and using my brilliance I found myself on your blog...
I wonder what happens next?

To all of you, my mom's friends,
my mom witnessed something essential to
being a mother a few days ago in our car.
Brother to brother wrestling.
Except heres where hacking your blog becomes so fun.

Today I, Preston, will walk you through one of the most common
moves me and my brother employ on each other, as well as brothers worldwide, one that may seem socially unacceptable. Sorry mom. Derived from every videogame
where you can crouch, the term for this lethal wrestling move
is called the tea bag, or the act of humping someone's face.
I won't go into anymore intense detail,
the pictures say enough, but tea bagging in videogames
(example: Halo) is where you go over someones dead digital body,
and crouch up and down on them, resulting in your groin area
going in and out of their head. This move is easily do-able in real
life, and every mother out here should be ready for it at all times.
What you don't see here is that Ben violently got me with it before,
which is why I am using him as an example.
He was happy to be part of such a devious plot as this.

Here are said pictures;
Don't sip the haterade mom, Kevin was in on this too.(also dollie)
This will most likely give all your friends the laugh of their lives,
and if you delete this, it will sever the bond between mother and son,

so don't do it mom! This is funny! Don't ground me either.

umarmen und lieben mooooooom, aaaaaahahahahahahahaha

The example:




The sneak:




The execution:




The aftermath:



Preston wins again!!!!!

no.286 e2e

the e's are hatching a wonderful-lovely plot, and,
i
cannot
w.a.i.t.
to get it started.

can't wait!
love my e.

umarmen und lieben
essie

no. 285 hmmm

is it work avoidance
or
the "sign" of a veteran teacher
to not be working on my lesson plans
and opt instead to be blog cruising on the last night of winter break...

umarmen und lieben
essie

no. 284 two days in

yesterday i made it to the gym
today i walked with my family
tomorrow i;ll get back to the gym and monday
monday will bring the return of the marathon
first grade...version 2010

*sigh*

resolutions.
so much pressure
when instead we should be embracing the fresh face of a new year-
12 pages of empty squares
perfectly symmetrical
waiting to be filled
one color for every member of casa h
helping us navigate through work, sports, appointments, travel
life.

resolutions.
should be happy colored pen filled squares of FUN
not
pressure

so here it is
my resolution for 2010:
happy colored pen filled squares of moments in a lifetime
of a wifey, momma, friend, sister, daughter, auntie, cousin, in-law
to make the moments of my lifetime
this year
moments for us all to share.

umarmen und lieben
essie

no.283 i thought

i was an xBox owner too...
i was wrong-
but thank you honey for sharing with me.
i would share with you too,
if,
i were an owner that is!

umarmen und lieben
essie