no.309 savga

a boy and a girl
met
and married
and started a life
together

it has been a roller coaster romance
that i wouldn't trade for anything.
anything.

from day one: in my mother's wedding gown
to
today
day six thousand, two hundred and five: t shirt, jeans, and boots

i love you tony...
happy anniversary


umarmen und lieben
bbkf
(ps, the photo is 6205 days old old old, and the actual album...back in va with gaia and grandpadad...kind of a family tradition)

no 308 what you can do

here

here you can help.
my thoughts keep going back to
Mrs. P.
and how her week is going to begin...
in a million years i could
never-
never imagine
living a day without
team leader.
never.

my heart aches for her
and my wish for the hardest day is
a moment
a moment when the love, support, guidance, and peace of her life keeps the reality of her life
away...she isn't only a marine wife
she's a military wife
we won't let her down.

my mind wanders to the soldiers-

the ones who go to war strong...
strong and
supported
strong and
alone

i think about the men and women i know who are downrange
fighting
i think about them and pray for their safe return
more important to me than anything else
a safe return-
home.

we are a nation at war

life happens
and sometimes that
safe return is more frantic than most
frantic because every fighting moment
is the difference...
when they are med-vac'ed back to germany

no one should ever be alone.
how we fight
who we fight for
what we fight
when we fight
where we fight
WHY we fight-
no one should ever be alone.

i know how we can help
do you?

umarmen und lieben
essie

no. 307 real

this is real.

i wonder if people who get to live on the outside
and rarely
LOOK IN
understand that real people are really dying
and hearts are really breaking...
my prayers and love go out to Mrs. P, who will always be
a marine wife.

umarmen und lieben
essie, an army wife

no.306 blip on the radar

my blip
new job = amazing!
i'm loving loving LOVING it
and finding myself
whoa
stinking busy in a way i didn't know i could be...

team leader is tdy
again

the kinder of casa h have me running all over this base
pres-soccer
doodlebug-softball AND volleyball
mr. ben-soccer
oreo-desperately needing a trip to the groomer...30 minutes away
(and that's 30 autobahn minutes)

christmas card-valentines that FINALLY got here-
in time for me to send them out by easter...nice.
needing to call arkansas and not finding a phone number
ergh!

things climbing up the wall that need to go to the thrift
new dishes that take 8 weeks to arrive
old dishes that need to be packed up for next winter
motorcycle here in may
taxes done (thank heavens)
needing to move more "essie-life" into my office and knowing how much i despise the scary basement, totally aware that it might never happen.

stuttgart bazaar next weekend...do we really want $130 of dutch cheese?!
i know we can always use polish pottery (maybe 120 wine corkers)
and some other fabbo things
but the cheese
i kind of need a break...i think.

heart
heart
LOVE the pashminas that queen d brought back from turkey for me and the ladies of my family...we are going to be one smokin' hot group at this wedding!


did i mention that our christmas lights are still up?
i decided we're keeping them up until john gets back from afghanistan
that's me and
my plan
or blip
as it may be.

found: 3 letters to avery and crew, 3 letters to the house of bullotta, all dated in the year 2009...apparently we were loving you, thanking you, and sending you valentines.
hmmm
lost: my mind! sorry guys!!!

seriously busy...
blippen busy!

umarmen und lieben
essie

no 305 a hat full of stars

I was folding up your letters
Unpacking winter clothes
Searching for my hat
I thought I left it by the door
So I tore around the room
Like a bird without a head
I saw your picture waving back at me
From underneath the bed
From a long, long time ago

When all I had
Was a hat full of stars
The one I'll always treasure
The one that you wore
You loved the look
But you never looked inside
You would have seen us there
You could've seen far
You should've seen the magic
In my hat full of stars

I'm trying to live in the present
But I keep tripping on the past
Finding out reality, well clarity
Comes in dribs and drabs
No we never had the time
For everything we had
So it felt like we had nothing
That's what makes this hat so sad
It was a long, long time ago

When all we had
Was a hat full of stars...
...You would have seen us there
You could've seen far
You should've seen the magic
In my hat full of stars

Now whenever I'm alone
And I think I might forget
I wear my lucky hat
Just like a crown up on my head -
'Cause all I have
Is a hat full of stars...
If you could see me now
You would've seen far
You should've seen the magic
In my hat full of stars...
~Cyndi Lauper~

love to you, we remember today, and have cheesecake tonight.
essie

no 304 again with the pity party to poland

so this week past us now (thank the heavens!!)
was
a serious doozey.
it was beyond hard giving the reigns to my new me
while i encouraged her not to
BE
me
but rather
be herself
a loving teacher person who i know was the perfect choice for my smarties.

cutting the cord was really tough
tough like
cutting pounds of onions crying
the type that stings your eyes but makes you keep going
until
you are unable to do any more-
just done.

on top of that was unsettling news about one of my smarties
and that
is all i'll say.

with dentist appointment after dentist appointment
i was a full on hot mess by friday afternoon.
m.e.s.s.
and not at all in a cute way.

thank heaven for the friends who
will drive you 6 hours no matter how you look or smell-
will drive you 6 hours into another country
without
THEIR passports or international drivers licenses
(i did have mine-apparently just in case!!)
will drive you 6 hours into a magical
(and somehow frozen in another time)
land of pottery
and
after 2 days of
"pick me up and dust me off" spending
will drive me 6 hours home again...in hurricane gale winds.

still a hot mess,
but,
a hot mess with some kick a** polish pottery!!

umarmen und lieben
essie

ps hot mess love goes to the hubby who managed casa h in my absence, and let me run away from my hot mess life...i love you!