popular isn't always popular

 What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?

you could say 
sex.
the world has the notion of sex wrong

you could say 
love.
the world has the notion of love wrong

you could say
marriage.
the world really does have the notion of marriage wrong-love is love, sex is sex, and
marriage should be for everyone

but on a much more personal level
body image = perfection...
that IS wrong.

30 years ago
i got the idea in my head that a perfect me
was
a pin thin me

that notion
and sense that
being thin meant
my curly hair was beautiful
my long legs were beautiful
my awkward around boys because i didn't have long blond hair that feathered back or 
boobs when the other girls had them...
being thin meant everyone would notice me
and maybe for a minute 
i would feel like i "fit in"

i was 24 and newly pregnant
when i realized how much i was hurting 
me
myself
my body
with years of
starving and puking.
harsh and ugly
not beautiful 
not strong
just 
sad

the funny thing about eating disorders is that they don't go away
they stick around like an invisible layer of dirt...which really sucks...

nothing is perfect kids,
we are all flawed
some of us gently flawed-others or us-more significantly flawed
finding a way to let the real you show
and stop allowing whatever it is that we watch on tv
or hear in a song or see in a magazine
change
us
that is real power
that is real community
that is real 
SELF image

i love you
i love you
i love you

momma