EIGHTEEN?!?!?!?!!!!

once in a lifetime someone you love turns
18.
today it was biggers...
my number 1

the child who made me a mommy
rocked every single second of my world for
9 months
and arrived with a smile that melted my heart
and set the bar
high
high
high

he turned eighteen
snap!
just like that

we had cupcakes at football practice
the way we did on birthdays
7,8,9,10, and 11

we went to a sushi house for dinner
just like we did on birthdays
7,8,9,10, and 11

years that daddy was gone thanks to the army
and we did everything we could to make the absence seem normal-
it was the first time Team Leader had ever been at football practice to sing happy birthday to his own son.

my mother in law, on the phone tonight, said
"i know these days are bittersweet for you-i can feel that.."
bittersweet
emotional
busy
moving faster than any of us care to say

watching TL lead the team in the birthday song, i felt the first snap of an apron string breaking

my baby boy
my bigger
doodlebug and wee's big brother
OUR son

is eighteen
today

my birthday wish-that every year from here on out he feels the love that celebrated with him:
singing, laughing, joking, cupcake eating
loving him and wishing him well as he walked into his adulthood

october 5 1993
with all my love to you PAH
xoxoxoxoxoxox
momma