no. 233 out of sight

walking into the shoppette just now
a song
was playing that made me stop.
for a minute i was singing along
but my head was somewhere else
thinking of my life
as it was
in another place
and
in another time...

short version-

i know that life passes us by.
i know that while we are gone
we are
out of sight.

and i know that often
out of sight
does mean
out of mind

even to the closest of friends
even to the most important people
even to the family you thought you could never be without.

i know.
i understand.
i get the big picture.

but the big picture isn't the immediate picture
particularly for our children
who are dealing with the heavy reality of saying goodbye.
saying goodbye because it is PCS season in our world

that's the unavoidable time when soliders and their families leave for new duty posts...a Permanent Change of Station.
but really, to military kids and their friends, who know better-
nothing is permanent
and this is just a move
to a new place
far away
from the life you work so hard to create for yourself
in spite of where the military sends you.

in a perfect situation
our children would have:
lived in one community
gone to a single elementary school
experienced preteen angst and upset in one middle school
captured four years of high school
lived in one community.

but they haven't
and they won't
and for every hard goodbye
i pray for a soft hello.

it's as simple and as complicated as that.
we miss you all

kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e

no. 232

(#$%$(%U(#((#*%**!!!!

now i feel better

no. 231 or the one where she turns 13

that "she" is my little girl
"she" is 13 today.

i think i'm in shock-
seriously.
seriously in shock.
it can't be that 13 years and 9 months of my life with her have already passed.
it just can't be...


i remember everything about being pregnant with her...it was the worst pregnancy...
ever.
i wasn't cute or bubbly
i wasn't gracious
i was enormous
and had the morning sickness of a thousand people
she turned my body upside-down and SIDEWAYS
she messed with me that badly!
i became diabetic
i went on bed rest
i was enormous-did i mention that?!
i was impatient
i was grumpy
i was enormous

i was convinced this baby was
a girl-
our daughter to be.
my mom was the only other person who agreed...even my doctor thought it was a boy
i knew better
she was already giving me the headaches...in utero no less!
heh
just kidding
i knew better though, i did.
from the beginning i knew that she would be the
only
one.
just doodlebug
no other daughters claiming
flesh of my flesh
daughters of my heart-later, much much later
but dollie
she was born and the mold was broken-
one of a kind.

these are the years where mothers and daughters struggle
where the temptation to spread wings is dashed by the primitive need to protect
where voices carry over one another
where tears are mighty
and
where tears are few

i love her with everything that i am
i love her with everything that i have
i love her with everything
i love her.

she is my daughter
she is my gift to the world
she is the world's gift
to me.

kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
on your 13th birthday and every day
Dorothy Laura Grace

xoxox
momma

no. 230 more doodle love!

no pics yet-
sorry.
i know that's REALLY why my 2 loyal readers come here...for the fabbo photo ops.
again sorry.

they are coming-promise.

doodle bug love continues
as she was chosen as
MVP
for the softball tournament!!!
(her team came in 3rd overall, and considering that she didn't know you were allowed to steal bases when she played her first game EVER in April, is a pretty sweet deal!)
oh my stars!
that super duper girlie-o of ours...
she is on a roll
and she deserves the accolades!

side bar:
back to school tomorrow for the training before summer school starts.
bleech
HOW did i end up on THIS train?!
seriously...
trying VERY hard to wrap myself around the positive as i drive friends to the airport for their summer in the states.
we
are
staying
here.
no trips over for us.
*sigh*

thinking about rainbows and ponies right now
rainbows and ponies...
kisses and wishes,
hope and virtue,
umarmen und lieben
e