no.222 tiptoe through

the last year and sneak ever so quietly into the next year.

and now, the random thoughts of the girl at 41
as 41 has just happened over here in deutschland regardless of what blogger has to say!

i've been in a bit of a rut...
since november-actually, if i really think about it.
this makes me more than a teeny bit angry.
i enjoyed being 40
i liked saying:
"i am 40."

it was like a badge of honor to make it to 40.

life however, as we all know, just loooves throwing wrenches into even
the very best laid plans.

the moments of happy happy
get pushed into the corners of "did that really happen?"
like when i went to school 2 weeks ago, and the parent of one of my students had savagely beaten him with his own belt and then made him wear it to school as further punishment-
for being a nuisance.
it did happen, and i've run the gamut of emotions since then, back and forth like a pendulum.
what i'm figuring out is that it is sometimes quite hard to allow myself to live in the happy...even though i'm really not sad.
just perpetually pissed.

so, in a true effort to make 41 better than 40, i'm going to take this selfish moment of happy to wish myself
happy birthday
and hope ever so slightly that this year, my wish comes true.

kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e