i've been a baad blogger.
and i missed (among other things)
wishing my one and only
girl
the happiest 15th birthday a momma could ever wish!
as i type
i'm down(or is it UP)loading
762 photos from my camera
essentially the lives of those wacky inhabitants at casa h
since...
January-ugh-i'm in blogging time-out for bad behavior!
i'm getting there folks-hang in!
umarmen und lieben
essie
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
no 368 house photos
these photos aren't on fb...
side view of the front of house
backyard from the bier garten
backyard minus our 4 legged neighbors
my new kitchen! as seen from the dining room
YAYAYAYAY!!!
side view of the front of house
backyard from the bier garten
backyard minus our 4 legged neighbors
my new kitchen! as seen from the dining room
YAYAYAYAY!!!
Monday, May 30, 2011
367 odenwald...here we come!
miracle of miracles
we found out on saturday that
the house
the place where
i can see
friends
parties
family
parties
birthdays
parties
anniversaries
parties
graduations
parties
dances
parties
dresses
parties
suits
parties
flowers
parties
coffee mornings
parties
snow
parties
sunshine
parties
commuting
parties
a trampoline
parties
and puppies becoming
dogs
the house
is ours for the renting
and my heart is
happy!
now-some photos are on fb-and photos
will eventually be posted here
i owe lots of picts...i know this...i've been really busy
BUT
what most be noted for posterity-
there is MUCH room for all of our lovies to join us
in
Germany!~!~!~!
please consider it...
umarmen und lieben
essie
we found out on saturday that
the house
the place where
i can see
friends
parties
family
parties
birthdays
parties
anniversaries
parties
graduations
parties
dances
parties
dresses
parties
suits
parties
flowers
parties
coffee mornings
parties
snow
parties
sunshine
parties
commuting
parties
a trampoline
parties
and puppies becoming
dogs
the house
is ours for the renting
and my heart is
happy!
now-some photos are on fb-and photos
will eventually be posted here
i owe lots of picts...i know this...i've been really busy
BUT
what most be noted for posterity-
there is MUCH room for all of our lovies to join us
in
Germany!~!~!~!
please consider it...
umarmen und lieben
essie
Sunday, May 22, 2011
weeeel hello there friends!!
it's been so long since i blogged i realized i didn't know if i remembered my LOG IN!
errp.
with a little hair dye and head scratching
i got it
and
with high school soccer officially over for this school year
i'm back!
photos of the soccer madness will be posted, and the fyi-
we have 2 kinder receiving varsity letters...
wooo stinkin hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
our harrisons were spectacular
in every way!
(i love my kiddos very very much)
umarmen und lieben
essie
errp.
with a little hair dye and head scratching
i got it
and
with high school soccer officially over for this school year
i'm back!
photos of the soccer madness will be posted, and the fyi-
we have 2 kinder receiving varsity letters...
wooo stinkin hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
our harrisons were spectacular
in every way!
(i love my kiddos very very much)
umarmen und lieben
essie
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
4 out of 4
snap your fingers and
poof.
just like that
you watch your first born
register for his
last
year
of school...
bittersweet
doesn't even begin to describe
the place
where my heart sleeps tonight
so proud
and full of disbelief
all at once
where did time fly away too
and why do i want it to slow
slow
so much
slow down?
i love you with every piece of my momma heart
p.a.h.
every piece
and it is my momma heart-string wish
for you
that the year ahead is magic.
umarmen und lieben
momma
poof.
just like that
you watch your first born
register for his
last
year
of school...
bittersweet
doesn't even begin to describe
the place
where my heart sleeps tonight
so proud
and full of disbelief
all at once
where did time fly away too
and why do i want it to slow
slow
so much
slow down?
i love you with every piece of my momma heart
p.a.h.
every piece
and it is my momma heart-string wish
for you
that the year ahead is magic.
umarmen und lieben
momma
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
362 wild horses
what an insane week-
BUT
what a lucky girl, getting to see gaia, grandpadad, uncle j, ang, lor, da, and...
my rahnie/schultz!!!
(as if they were a WWE tag team!!)
i met some wonderful folks at HQ
i did some wonderful work, with said folks, at HQ
i decided to fill "my house in germany that doesn't know it's our house" with beautiful paintings
starting with Grammie's, and now adding TWO more beauties of Rodger's to our fray!
"word"
"the bride"
"a sweet disorder"
meet
"esther bonsai"
"cinnamon bonsai"
and "almost tony bonsai" which is a comission based on this piece, which team leader fell in love with
but was sold faster than we could purchase
rodger is the hubby of my superfly momma rose, and daddy of my super K, and
the magician behind this amazing talent.
HE is so seriously up and coming-wild horses couldn't stop this man
WE are so proud to call him and his beautiful family our friends
great people
great art
it was a whirlwind week-part 2 starts up in less than 3 weeks
i can't wait!
umarmen und lieben
essie
BUT
what a lucky girl, getting to see gaia, grandpadad, uncle j, ang, lor, da, and...
my rahnie/schultz!!!
(as if they were a WWE tag team!!)
i met some wonderful folks at HQ
i did some wonderful work, with said folks, at HQ
i decided to fill "my house in germany that doesn't know it's our house" with beautiful paintings
starting with Grammie's, and now adding TWO more beauties of Rodger's to our fray!
"word"
"the bride"
"a sweet disorder"
meet
"esther bonsai"
"cinnamon bonsai"
and "almost tony bonsai" which is a comission based on this piece, which team leader fell in love with
but was sold faster than we could purchase
rodger is the hubby of my superfly momma rose, and daddy of my super K, and
the magician behind this amazing talent.
HE is so seriously up and coming-wild horses couldn't stop this man
WE are so proud to call him and his beautiful family our friends
great people
great art
it was a whirlwind week-part 2 starts up in less than 3 weeks
i can't wait!
umarmen und lieben
essie
Saturday, March 05, 2011
361 remember
I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.
~Michelangelo
with love, hugs, prayers and peace
to e, and g,
with our friendship
hand in hand
heart to heart
always
~Michelangelo
with love, hugs, prayers and peace
to e, and g,
with our friendship
hand in hand
heart to heart
always
Friday, February 18, 2011
360. i can hear the angels singing
best day EVER
was yesterday
(which is still coming up as today b/c that's how my yoda laptop works...)
holy smoke-
this past week has been busy busy busy
making me
tired tired tired
all leading up to friday and a professional development day that was setting itself up to be maybe not so much fun.
the big kicker, me, and my 2 coaching partners in crime were RESPONSIBLE for the professional development
us
with big smiles
"this will be fun, and useful, and help us all work on our craft!"
looking out at
a cohort of colleagues who are dealing (or not) with the impending upheaval of a move because of base realignments.
FYI-if you don't know, having no control over your future can be a terrifying thing,
and
when you've lived somewhere for as long as 20 years
being told you have to attend a meeting to begin that process can be a
major
buzz
kill
(now over at casa h, we haven't lived ANYWHERE for more than 7 years, but the uncertainty of big moves can be troubling...)
back to the buzz kill-
I
was the presenter scheduled to do her thing when we all came back to our professional dev after the morning meeting.
the "after lunch bunch"
i was so nervous i literally took 30 seconds and cried.
(and yes, maybe it was a little overly dramatic of me, but the friend I was with is a boston toughie, she can handle it)
i went to my pro dev and pasted on my best
"not terrifed"
smile until i learned that the superintendent for curriculum instruction and assessment was there-
early-we DID have a meeting but it was meant to be AFTER my schpeel
NOT
before it.
gulp
big girl panties on now-i do my part and right brain/left brain balance my fear with how we all need to LOOK at our students as the whole child, not one way or another, brain balanced activities in the classroom, mind mapping my way through the longest and shortest hour of my life.
woohoo at 2:00!
i'm done!
then the meeting-with our superintendent CIA
heh
it even makes him laugh
a BIG very important meeting that sends me in 10 days back to the states to HeadQuarters
OMG
OMG
OMG
twice
that's right TWO trips back to virginia and my MOMMY!!!!
(sidebar: gaia is having amazing reactions to her chemo meds, the infusion nurses are thrilled, she has all her hair-tho prestie shaved his off in solidarity to his grandma-heart of MY heart)
so i wrap up my meeting, and come home.
friday was almost over-BUT
somewhere in an office-somewhere
my district superintendent was working with our HR and union to decide who (of the 79folks that were looking for jobs-all those people with me in the morning meeting) would get one of the 65 available jobs in our district and maybe not have to make a tremendous move somewhere around the world.
at 6;16 pm my notification came to my work inbox
i was placed in THE school where i wanted to go-
with an admin team i cannot wait to work for-
in a city in germany that will allow
pres to graduate here
dollie to graduate here
and
ben (who was REALLY rooting for italy)
to be pretty ticked off but available enough to be bribed back into happy.
no more worrying about job security
no more stairwell
benefits that give us a real life with ROOTS
my heart overflows with thanks for the blessing bestowed on my family-
roots.
a fighting momma.
a job.
and with that, i CAN hear the angels singing!
it is a full on hallelujah chorus!!!!
wiesbaden germany-get ready for casa h!
umarmen und lieben
essie
was yesterday
(which is still coming up as today b/c that's how my yoda laptop works...)
holy smoke-
this past week has been busy busy busy
making me
tired tired tired
all leading up to friday and a professional development day that was setting itself up to be maybe not so much fun.
the big kicker, me, and my 2 coaching partners in crime were RESPONSIBLE for the professional development
us
with big smiles
"this will be fun, and useful, and help us all work on our craft!"
looking out at
a cohort of colleagues who are dealing (or not) with the impending upheaval of a move because of base realignments.
FYI-if you don't know, having no control over your future can be a terrifying thing,
and
when you've lived somewhere for as long as 20 years
being told you have to attend a meeting to begin that process can be a
major
buzz
kill
(now over at casa h, we haven't lived ANYWHERE for more than 7 years, but the uncertainty of big moves can be troubling...)
back to the buzz kill-
I
was the presenter scheduled to do her thing when we all came back to our professional dev after the morning meeting.
the "after lunch bunch"
i was so nervous i literally took 30 seconds and cried.
(and yes, maybe it was a little overly dramatic of me, but the friend I was with is a boston toughie, she can handle it)
i went to my pro dev and pasted on my best
"not terrifed"
smile until i learned that the superintendent for curriculum instruction and assessment was there-
early-we DID have a meeting but it was meant to be AFTER my schpeel
NOT
before it.
gulp
big girl panties on now-i do my part and right brain/left brain balance my fear with how we all need to LOOK at our students as the whole child, not one way or another, brain balanced activities in the classroom, mind mapping my way through the longest and shortest hour of my life.
woohoo at 2:00!
i'm done!
then the meeting-with our superintendent CIA
heh
it even makes him laugh
a BIG very important meeting that sends me in 10 days back to the states to HeadQuarters
OMG
OMG
OMG
twice
that's right TWO trips back to virginia and my MOMMY!!!!
(sidebar: gaia is having amazing reactions to her chemo meds, the infusion nurses are thrilled, she has all her hair-tho prestie shaved his off in solidarity to his grandma-heart of MY heart)
so i wrap up my meeting, and come home.
friday was almost over-BUT
somewhere in an office-somewhere
my district superintendent was working with our HR and union to decide who (of the 79folks that were looking for jobs-all those people with me in the morning meeting) would get one of the 65 available jobs in our district and maybe not have to make a tremendous move somewhere around the world.
at 6;16 pm my notification came to my work inbox
i was placed in THE school where i wanted to go-
with an admin team i cannot wait to work for-
in a city in germany that will allow
pres to graduate here
dollie to graduate here
and
ben (who was REALLY rooting for italy)
to be pretty ticked off but available enough to be bribed back into happy.
no more worrying about job security
no more stairwell
benefits that give us a real life with ROOTS
my heart overflows with thanks for the blessing bestowed on my family-
roots.
a fighting momma.
a job.
and with that, i CAN hear the angels singing!
it is a full on hallelujah chorus!!!!
wiesbaden germany-get ready for casa h!
umarmen und lieben
essie
Saturday, February 05, 2011
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
no 358 just like that
it is february!
and this baby (photo taken in december)
will be FOUR months old on the 9th!!
and this baby (photo taken in december)
will be FOUR months old on the 9th!!
photo montage to follow!
umarmen und lieben
e
Sunday, January 30, 2011
no 357 who else is going to bring you a broken arrow
so i've spent the morning trolling blogs written by women who are fully funded (by hubbies that must be gazillionaires and all the ads on their sites) who are 100% into the home decor thing.
now, don't get me wrong, i'm all about a pretty home
i guess i don't keep up with trends, and really decorate with things i like or were given to me by people i love(d)
as the only girl, i've gotten a lot of the pass downs from the grammies and grandpas, and every now and then i'm reminded of just how old some of these things are...like this chair i'm sitting in-right now
it was in my grandfather's office in DC, and i've loved it since i was in middle school
loved it so much that my mom had it recovered for me 8 or so years ago
-
because really
i'm not the girl who has figured out how to do that
-
but in this last month, a leg has broken, and i think my days with this sweet old friend might be really numbered...does giving it away mean i'm a bad granddaughter?
should i find someone who can help me restore it to greatness...a little more life yet to be lived, or sat in, really
and this computer desk...bedroom furniture that mom and dad got for pres back
in
2000...
it's a full on hot mess
BUT
since we moved here the kids friends have written on it, signed their names, left their marks and personalized it in a way that monograms just couldn't do it justice.
it is bulky
it is outdated
it is ours...but should IT go?
speaking of which, my cookbook madness...i love a good cookbook, and when we left nc, i gave at least 20+ away
so explain this
(for the record...these are the books actually on a shelf.
the rest are stacked on a counter...all 15 of them, and, one recipe box)
how do you decide when you're ready to make changes...is there a cosmo quiz out there somewhere to help you know WHEN?
i happen to love my christmas tree
and all our ornaments
and my colored lights
i really don't want a theme tree every year...it's hard enough for me to commit to gift wrap!
anyhoo...oma mentioned that mr. pres has photos on fb that made her feel like she was on a virtual field trip with the boy...and made me realize that i've been pretty bad about sharing life in europe with ya'll.
must be the opsec in me
(operational security for those who just said "what the face, essie?!!")
i really don't like taking photos of our base, or the bases we go to-just in case.
but i can take photos of where we go and what we do when we are OFF post
and i can work a little more on the sharing part
while i'm throwing away and repainting everything we own in between!
gaia, btw, sounds fantastic and is swimming a mile a day in spite of her monthly trip to the doctor!
grandpadad is walking a full country mile a day, up and down winding roads with more energy now than he knew he still had!
oreo is the happiest little doggie, thanks in great part, to all the new outfits he's gotten post life-redeux!
junior has FINALLY figured out how to go DOWNSTAIRS without being carried-miracle of miracles-and in the nick of time as he's topped 30 pounds at 16 weeks!
the kinder of casa h are recovering from a nasty bout of make-up work-
team leader is perfecting his future stay at home princess cooking
(which i love...who else is going to bring me a bottle of rain...just him)
and me
i've taken a very refreshing break from fb, a self induced cyber holiday, proving to myself that i really prefer blogging to all the insane fb updating that i did before
i've cleaned my head and heart of the worry, stress, and negativity that started up my school year and i'm not looking back!
(in fact, i'm even listening to music in the house, another thing off my 2011 to do list...go me!)
we're survivors over here at casa h, us, folks and furniture-
thinking i've answered my own question i'm off to look for some fabric and wood glue.
happy almost february to all my loves
umarmen und lieben
essie
now, don't get me wrong, i'm all about a pretty home
i guess i don't keep up with trends, and really decorate with things i like or were given to me by people i love(d)
as the only girl, i've gotten a lot of the pass downs from the grammies and grandpas, and every now and then i'm reminded of just how old some of these things are...like this chair i'm sitting in-right now
it was in my grandfather's office in DC, and i've loved it since i was in middle school
loved it so much that my mom had it recovered for me 8 or so years ago
-
because really
i'm not the girl who has figured out how to do that
-
but in this last month, a leg has broken, and i think my days with this sweet old friend might be really numbered...does giving it away mean i'm a bad granddaughter?
should i find someone who can help me restore it to greatness...a little more life yet to be lived, or sat in, really
and this computer desk...bedroom furniture that mom and dad got for pres back
in
2000...
it's a full on hot mess
BUT
since we moved here the kids friends have written on it, signed their names, left their marks and personalized it in a way that monograms just couldn't do it justice.
it is bulky
it is outdated
it is ours...but should IT go?
speaking of which, my cookbook madness...i love a good cookbook, and when we left nc, i gave at least 20+ away
so explain this
(for the record...these are the books actually on a shelf.
the rest are stacked on a counter...all 15 of them, and, one recipe box)
how do you decide when you're ready to make changes...is there a cosmo quiz out there somewhere to help you know WHEN?
i happen to love my christmas tree
and all our ornaments
and my colored lights
i really don't want a theme tree every year...it's hard enough for me to commit to gift wrap!
anyhoo...oma mentioned that mr. pres has photos on fb that made her feel like she was on a virtual field trip with the boy...and made me realize that i've been pretty bad about sharing life in europe with ya'll.
must be the opsec in me
(operational security for those who just said "what the face, essie?!!")
i really don't like taking photos of our base, or the bases we go to-just in case.
but i can take photos of where we go and what we do when we are OFF post
and i can work a little more on the sharing part
while i'm throwing away and repainting everything we own in between!
gaia, btw, sounds fantastic and is swimming a mile a day in spite of her monthly trip to the doctor!
grandpadad is walking a full country mile a day, up and down winding roads with more energy now than he knew he still had!
oreo is the happiest little doggie, thanks in great part, to all the new outfits he's gotten post life-redeux!
junior has FINALLY figured out how to go DOWNSTAIRS without being carried-miracle of miracles-and in the nick of time as he's topped 30 pounds at 16 weeks!
the kinder of casa h are recovering from a nasty bout of make-up work-
team leader is perfecting his future stay at home princess cooking
(which i love...who else is going to bring me a bottle of rain...just him)
and me
i've taken a very refreshing break from fb, a self induced cyber holiday, proving to myself that i really prefer blogging to all the insane fb updating that i did before
i've cleaned my head and heart of the worry, stress, and negativity that started up my school year and i'm not looking back!
(in fact, i'm even listening to music in the house, another thing off my 2011 to do list...go me!)
we're survivors over here at casa h, us, folks and furniture-
thinking i've answered my own question i'm off to look for some fabric and wood glue.
happy almost february to all my loves
umarmen und lieben
essie
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
no.351 back
from a whirlwind trip to the states
i'm still putting it all together in my head...the moment i hugged my mom-
how little she felt in my arms
my brothers and dad
how their bodies all relaxed-slackening after carrying so much weight these past few weeks.
driving to the doctor, again and again
cleaning out drawers and shelves
(don't forget to make that salvation army drop!)
setting up schedules
learning how to
shop online for groceries (WHO KNEW!!)
resetting our family goals-
our hopes and dreams
that are so simple in actuality
but mean everything, all on the table, open and exposed
in this new year
i'm sorry i didn't get to see and/or say goodbye to the people who carry their love for our family in their hearts-you make living in a small community worth all the wealth in the world and tho we didn't get to see and say what our hearts know...
i
love
you
all!
umarmen und lieben
essie
i'm still putting it all together in my head...the moment i hugged my mom-
how little she felt in my arms
my brothers and dad
how their bodies all relaxed-slackening after carrying so much weight these past few weeks.
driving to the doctor, again and again
cleaning out drawers and shelves
(don't forget to make that salvation army drop!)
setting up schedules
learning how to
shop online for groceries (WHO KNEW!!)
resetting our family goals-
our hopes and dreams
that are so simple in actuality
but mean everything, all on the table, open and exposed
in this new year
i'm sorry i didn't get to see and/or say goodbye to the people who carry their love for our family in their hearts-you make living in a small community worth all the wealth in the world and tho we didn't get to see and say what our hearts know...
i
love
you
all!
umarmen und lieben
essie
Saturday, January 01, 2011
no. 350 Guten Rutsch
we hope your slide into 2011 was fun, fast, and gave you enough time to find something soft to catch you upon impact!
umarmen und lieben
essie
Friday, December 31, 2010
no 349 "resolutions vs. REALLY cool list"
* credit where credit is due...i'm cyber stealing my dear friend Christy's idea, with love and hugs to her for being so brilliant! *
sitting in our little apartment
no pictures to share from a birthday, hannukah, christmas eve, christmas day, dinner, puppy-love, or new years eve as they were just accidentally erased
(yup...that really did just happen...seriously, every photo on my camera-g.o.n.e.)
i'm thinking that G-d, in his infinite wisdom somehow KNEW i needed to begin this year with
a
clean
slate
filling up on delicious racclette
drinking waaay too much apple-pomegranate juice
relishing a phone call
reflecting on 2010
and wondering
just what will happen
in 2011
i went for a blog walk
started looking at my favorite places to lurk
where friends i know and friends i'll never actually meet
go
to share the labors and loves of their own lives.
and in the middle rests this:
no more resolutions, just REALLY cool lists-
lists of the things that make life
happy
exciting
maybe a little scary as we venture outside a comfort zone
full.
really full.
so here is MY contribution to what casa h might need in order to be really cool
(in no particular order, but because i AM a teacher, i'm counting down from 10 to 1)
10. get our puppy to walk DOWN the stairs before he is over 25 pounds and I can't carry him forever.
9. teach my children the importance of handwritten communication over texting or email
8. go to a cooking class somewhere exotic
7. become the hot wifey to a US SF retiree!!!!
6. play more music in our house-all kinds
5. read a book alongside each of our three littles so we can actually DISCUSS what's happening as we read
4. move off the bunny slope...in more ways than even I know
3. dance with my husband on a beach
2. (this is a real 2-fer) take a stab at relearning my HS French AND improving my get out of jail German
1. go to craptastic ohio
live in the NOW, by doing all of these things and then, make another really cool list!
Guten Rutsch (mit umarmen und lieben)
Willkommen 2011
essie
sitting in our little apartment
no pictures to share from a birthday, hannukah, christmas eve, christmas day, dinner, puppy-love, or new years eve as they were just accidentally erased
(yup...that really did just happen...seriously, every photo on my camera-g.o.n.e.)
i'm thinking that G-d, in his infinite wisdom somehow KNEW i needed to begin this year with
a
clean
slate
filling up on delicious racclette
drinking waaay too much apple-pomegranate juice
relishing a phone call
reflecting on 2010
and wondering
just what will happen
in 2011
i went for a blog walk
started looking at my favorite places to lurk
where friends i know and friends i'll never actually meet
go
to share the labors and loves of their own lives.
and in the middle rests this:
no more resolutions, just REALLY cool lists-
lists of the things that make life
happy
exciting
maybe a little scary as we venture outside a comfort zone
full.
really full.
so here is MY contribution to what casa h might need in order to be really cool
(in no particular order, but because i AM a teacher, i'm counting down from 10 to 1)
10. get our puppy to walk DOWN the stairs before he is over 25 pounds and I can't carry him forever.
9. teach my children the importance of handwritten communication over texting or email
8. go to a cooking class somewhere exotic
7. become the hot wifey to a US SF retiree!!!!
6. play more music in our house-all kinds
5. read a book alongside each of our three littles so we can actually DISCUSS what's happening as we read
4. move off the bunny slope...in more ways than even I know
3. dance with my husband on a beach
2. (this is a real 2-fer) take a stab at relearning my HS French AND improving my get out of jail German
1. go to craptastic ohio
live in the NOW, by doing all of these things and then, make another really cool list!
Guten Rutsch (mit umarmen und lieben)
Willkommen 2011
essie
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
no 347 wake up...I'm 11!!!
the sound of excitement at 530 in the morning
my little boy
not quite so little anymore
not quite so big
that buckets of toys, books, and movies there to
celebrate
HIM
aren't the icing on his birthday cake!
they were...
and for the record...
having that nugget of little still in my life-
that's the icing on mine!
i love you ben ben-
happy 11th birthday!!!!!!!!!!!
momma
(photos to follow-my c drive is full and i need to move some old photos to make room for the new ones!)
my little boy
not quite so little anymore
not quite so big
that buckets of toys, books, and movies there to
celebrate
HIM
aren't the icing on his birthday cake!
they were...
and for the record...
having that nugget of little still in my life-
that's the icing on mine!
i love you ben ben-
happy 11th birthday!!!!!!!!!!!
momma
(photos to follow-my c drive is full and i need to move some old photos to make room for the new ones!)
Sunday, December 19, 2010
the worst of it
yesterday my daughter said
"get off the phone, daddy says miss jessica is calling you"
one minute i was christmas shopping
the next
i was literally sitting down
listening to my darling friend
tell me the worst of it
listening to jess
find the strength to finish
what i asked her to start when i emailed her 10 days ago
worrying only about pneumonia
not cancer
out loud
no censoring real life
on my blog
my diary
mine
my mother has cancer
stage 4 cancer
in the pleural lining of her lung
this isn't cancer you can operate on-really
though i've found a specialist in boston that i want to talk to
just because
just because i've been away
6,000 miles away and doctors haven't been talking to me
i need my questions answered
first hand
to ensure that where we go next HELPS HER
she begins chemo at the hospital today, and, continues chemo in our hometown hospital when she gets back early next week
she's absoluely gobsmacked by this-we all are-cancer from out of thin air?!
who says that is alright?
i'm mad
i'm scared
i'm hopeful
i'm prayerful
i'm ready to meet this head on with her
but really-when are we ever ready to hear the worst of it
and not feel slightly, ever so slightly
shattered
heart of my heart-
heart of her heart
i carry you
"get off the phone, daddy says miss jessica is calling you"
one minute i was christmas shopping
the next
i was literally sitting down
listening to my darling friend
tell me the worst of it
listening to jess
find the strength to finish
what i asked her to start when i emailed her 10 days ago
worrying only about pneumonia
not cancer
out loud
no censoring real life
on my blog
my diary
mine
my mother has cancer
stage 4 cancer
in the pleural lining of her lung
this isn't cancer you can operate on-really
though i've found a specialist in boston that i want to talk to
just because
just because i've been away
6,000 miles away and doctors haven't been talking to me
i need my questions answered
first hand
to ensure that where we go next HELPS HER
she begins chemo at the hospital today, and, continues chemo in our hometown hospital when she gets back early next week
she's absoluely gobsmacked by this-we all are-cancer from out of thin air?!
who says that is alright?
i'm mad
i'm scared
i'm hopeful
i'm prayerful
i'm ready to meet this head on with her
but really-when are we ever ready to hear the worst of it
and not feel slightly, ever so slightly
shattered
heart of my heart-
heart of her heart
i carry you
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